Cousin of Bilbo Baggins: The Hobbit

Uninvited Guests

Astrid's POV

"It looks amazing Bilbo" I tell him smiling as he placed my plate in front of me.

"Thank you for getting it, you know the shop keeper always gives you the best" he states. I pour us each a glass of water. Before I started to eat when there was a knock at the door.

"Were you expecting anyone?" we asked each other. "No" we replied at the same time and there was another knock at the door. Bilbo sighed and got up to answer it. As he reached the door, there was a third knock.

"Dwalin, at your service" I hear a man's voice say after Bilbo opened the door.

"Bilbo Baggins, at yours" Bilbo tells the guy. I then heard heavy footsteps enter the house. Strange, I didn't hear Bilbo invite him in. I tuned back in to hear the man asking for food. Just then a tall, bald dwarf entered the kitchen where I was sitting. He sat down across from me and started to eat Bilbo's dinner.

"Excuse me, that's my cousin's food" I tell him. "Bilbo why is this dwarf here?" I ask.

"I don't know, I was not expecting company and neither were you" he states.

"Mmmm. ... Very good, this. Any more?" Dwalin asks Bilbo.

"What? Ah uh, yeah" Bilbo says and brings over a bowl of rolls after hiding one. I return to eating my dinner as I listen to their conversation. "Mmmm. It's just that, um, I wasn't expecting company" Bilbo tells Dwalin. Just then the bell rings.

"That'll be the door" Dwalin tells Bilbo and he leaves to answer the door. "What's your name lassie?" he asks me.

"Astrid Took, I live here with Bilbo. He's my cousin" I explain. Just then he notices the jar of biscuits I'd made that afternoon. As he was trying to get them out of the jar an other dwarf appears. Except he was older with white hair.

"Oh, ha ha! Evening, brother. Heh, heh" he says smiling at Dwalin who puts down the biscuit jar.

"Oh, by my beard, you are shorter and wider than last we met" Dwalin tells him.

"Wider, not shorter" the older dwarf corrects him. "Sharp enough for the both of us" he adds. Laughing, they greet each other amicably. Putting their arms on each other's shoulders, they smash their foreheads together. Bilbo enters the room and looks on in wonder.

"Uh, excuse me; sorry, I hate to interrupt, ah, but the thing is, I'm not entirely sure you're in the right house" Bilbo tells them. But they ignore him heading to our pantry. I get up from my half finished dinner and follow Bilbo, who followed the dwarves.

"It's not that we don't like visitors" I assure them.

"W-we like visitors as much as the next Hobbit, but I do like to know them before they come visiting" Bilbo explains. Dwalin and the other dwarf, not listening to us, are still rifling through our pantry.

"The thing is, um--" I try to say as they exam a lump of cheese and look at Bilbo unsure how to word my sentence.

"The thing is, um, we, we don't know either of you, not in the slightest. We don't mean to be blunt, but we uh, but we had to speak our minds. We're sorry" Bilbo finishes. The dwarves pause and look at us.

"Apology accepted" the elder dwarf says and they go back to raiding our pantry.

"I don't think they heard a word we said" I whisper to Bilbo. Just then the doorbell went off again. "I'll get it, keep an eye on them two" I tell Bilbo before heading to the door. I open the door to find two young dwarves.

"Fili" says the one with light hair.

"Kili" says the one with dark hair.

"At your service" they finish bowing.

"Astrid at yours, are you at the right house?" I ask.

"This is the house of Bilbo Baggins, right?" Fili asks.

"It is, I'm his cousin" I tell him and they enter uninvited. As Bilbo appears and they give him their weapons. "I thought you were keeping na eye on the other two" I say confused after shutting the door.

"I was then Dwalin heard those two and I followed him" Bilbo states.

"Whatever, I'm going to go sharpen my axe" I tell him and go to my room. I retrieve my axe and sharpening rock. I head to the lounge and sit in front of the fire. I add an other log and begin to hum as I sharpen my axe. Just then the doorbell went again.

"Oh no. No, no! There's nobody home. Go away, and bother somebody else. There's far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If- if- If this is some clotterd's idea of a joke, ha ha, I can only say, it is in very poor taste" I hear Bilbo complain. I then hear a loud thump after he opened the door. "Gandalf" I hear him say.

"Gandalf, why are all these dwarves here?" I ask as I enter the entry way holding my axe. "Oh my" I say seeing eight dwarves laying on top of each other. Once they were up they go raid our pantry. While Bilbo starts to argue with Gandalf telling the dwarves to leave our family heirlooms/antiques alone. I sigh and go back to sharpening my axe in the lounge.

I was in my own world until I heard the dwarves starting to sing. "Blunt the knives, bend the forks. Smash the bottles and burn the corks. Chip the glasses and crack the plates. That's what Bilbo Baggins hates! Cut the cloth and tread on the fat. Leave the bones on the bedroom mat. Pour the milk on the pantry floor. Splash the wine on every door. Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl. Pound them up with a thumping pole. When you've finished, if any are whole. Send them down the hall to roll... That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!" they finish shouting as I enter the kitchen with Bilbo. After leaving my axe on my chair. I was shocked to see all our plates cleaned and stacked neatly.

All the dwarves laugh along with Gandalf at mine and Bilbo's shocked expressions. Suddenly, there were three loud knocks on the door, and everyone falls silent."He's here" Gandalf states and goes to open the door.

A/N

Picture above of Astrid's axe and picture on the external link of the twelve dwarves. Video above of the song.