Eavesdropping isn't something I would encourage and I never really do it. But I thought it was important, just this once. Harry and our parents were in his room arguing about me living in London with him, so I listened in from my doorway. It wasn't hard to hear, considering Harry's room was right across from mine.
"What are you gonna do if she gets bad again, Harry? She's done so well the past 2 years and I don't want her progress thrown away," I hear mother say. It was obvious she didn't want me going. And she usually gets her way, so I guess I don't have to worry about packing any bags.
"Exactly! It's been 2 years, I don't think anything will happen now," Harry answers. Although it has been 2 years, I still sometimes feel as if it's gonna happen again. Like it's just waiting for the perfect time to attack me for the second time.
"Don't raise your voice at me, young man," mum scolds. "I can't risk anything happening to her."
"She's 18, Anne. You can't keep her locked up in this house forever," dad speaks up this time. So he's on Harry's side. That's two to one. Maybe mum won't get her way.
"She's like a child. She's so fragile and shy, it would be such a huge change for her," mum debates.
"Well she's gonna have to move out sooner or later. Why not give her a chance now? And who knows, maybe she'll meet someone." It took me awhile to understand what dad meant, but after awhile I understood. He's saying I might meet a boy.
I hear a sigh of frustration, then, "You really think this is a good idea?" Either dad replied too quiet for me to hear, or simply nodded his head. I returned to my room and sat in the corner of my bed, leaning against both walls and bringing my knees up to my chest.
Before I had a chance to think things over, Harry bursted through the door and practically jumped on top of me. "Ashley! They said yes! You can come with me!"
"That's..great," I force a smile. I don't think I want to go. What if his friends treat me the same way my classmates did, or worse? And what if, like mum said, I get bad again? Or I have an anxiety attack while Harry is out with his mates? So many things could happen and I'm nothing close to being ready.
"You don't want to come," he frowns, sitting down next to me.
"I never said that," I slightly shake my head, focusing my eyes on the stitching in my duvet.
"C'mon, please? You'd get to meet Niall, Zayn, Louis, and Liam! And FYI, I've already told the lads a lot about you. They're excited to meet you, especially Niall. He loves meeting new people." Harry was so close to begging, I half expected him to turn into a dog and start whining.
"Well I don't," I say quietly. The more I thought about it, the scarier it seemed. I took deep, slow breaths to try calming myself, but it wasn't really working.
"I know, but you have to trust me on- are you alright?" He leans closer to me, then takes my wrist in his hand, checking my pulse. "Oh god, no. You aren't."
He lifted me up from the bed and led me downstairs. I could still breath, but my breaths were short and choppy. I sounded as if I had been running for miles on end.
"Mum!" Harry shouts, bringing me into the living room. She was sat watching the television. When she saw us walk in, she threw herself out of the chair and rushed towards us.
"Okay, Ashley. Breathe, baby. In and out," mum took over for Harry, cooing those words in my ear. It took a few minutes, but I could finally breath properly again.
"How are you feeling?" she asks, placing a part of my hair behind my ear.
"I'm okay now. Thanks," I say quietly, and sit down in the sofa behind me. Mum sat down next to me and rubbed her hand over my back as we sat in silence, watching a man on the television make a cake.
"So this whole London thing. What's your input on this?" mum asked as the adverts played.
"I don't know," I shrug. "It's a lot to think about. And London is so big and loud..with so many people.."
"Well it's up to you, babe. If you want to go, I'll let you." She smiles at me warmly while continuing to rub my back.
"I'll think about it," I return a smile. "I doubt Harry leaves without me anyways."
~*~
After having a shower and putting my dirty clothes in the washing machine, I trudged across the hall into my room with a towel wrapped around my body. I decided that if I do move in with Harry, I should buy new clothes. And I hate shopping, so this won't be very fun.
I put on my underclothes then found a pair of gray skinny jeans and pulled them on. I guessed they were clean enough to wear in public. I opened my wardrobe and flipped through the shirts before choosing a white Nirvana band shirt. I pulled a pink jacket off a hanger and put it on as well.
I was sat on the bed lacing my Converse when Gemma walked in. "Going somewhere?"
"The shopping centre," I reply and pull the laces on the second shoe into a knot. "I'm gonna buy new clothes for London."
"So you're going then."
"I don't know yet. I'm still thinking. But if I do, I want knew clothes. And if I don't, then hey, I could use some new outfits," I nod towards my wardrobe.
"Do mum and dad know you're going?" she asks sternly, but she had a smile fighting to show through.
"Nope," I shrug with a small chuckle. "I'm gonna be 19 in 3 months. I can do what I want now."
"Are you okay? Are you ill? You haven't been doing drugs, have you?" Gemma interrogated me at a thousand miles per hour.
"I'm fine. And no, I haven't done drugs. I just..I've felt less vulnerable and shy lately," I say with another shrug.
"I like the new Ashley!" Gemma claps me on the back and smiles. "She's more fun."
"Um, thanks?" I raise an eyebrow. She shrugs. Then I shrug back.
"Do you want me to go with you?" Gemma brings an end to our shrugging game.
"Sure, if you want. We need to spend time together before you leave for Uni anyways," I say with a smile.
"Yay, I love shopping!" she almost squeals and rushes out of my room to get ready. We definitely don't have much in common.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
This chapter is short and really boring I'm sorry !! But some stuff happens in the next chapter so be patient my lovelies :)
Pls vote and comment, tell me what you think of the story so far ! Thanks for reading and if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask :) xx -CaylenCloud1999
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