More Than a Summer Fling | Modern Lams AU | Fragilehoney

25

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a/n: hello. i am back at it! :) recently ive feel into a bit of a depressed state and had a big panic attack at school and ive been very scared to open up about it so i think this is probably the best platform to open up about it for now since nobody i know irl sees this aha. i really wanna tell my mom about it but i dont know how to bring up the topic and im scared. im not diagnosed with anything so for now im just going to do my best and troop through things while i figure out my place in life. writing helps me cope in some weird way. thanks for reading! chapter 24 was probably on of my favorites <3

I have an idea for a slow burn story but I'm not sure what ship i want it to be. Lams or tree bros? im not sure if i want it to have the happiest ending but i also love happy ending sooooo....

I also want to change the cover again it's just kinda ugly at the moment... OH and i want to start one shots again because im really bad at keeping up with stuff haha.

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Alex. Alex. Alex. Oh my god. I love him and it hurts thinking about how much I do. He makes my heart flutter and feel ways I never thought it could. I want to just hug him and hold him and kiss him. He was mine, I was his. We walked back to the cabin, after I sang to him, hand in hand in a comforting silence. I opened the door and closed it behind us as Alex turned me so my back was against the door. He mumbled something before planting his lips on mine and moving them slowly. I moved my arms around his waist pulling him closer. I deepen our kiss after a taking a second to adjust and to get comfortable. Alex pulled away and looked me into my eyes.

"Thank you so much. I'm always at a loss of words around you." He said bashfully.

"I'm glad everything went as planned. My luck, I would have tripped, smashed the ukulele, and broke a bone. I guess you're like my lucky charm." 

"Gosh you're so cheesy!" He pushed away from me and chuckled as he walked to his bed. 

Alex closed the blinds and turned on the lamp that we almost never used. He took off his jacket and tossed it across the room to his couch nearly missing it. He sat down and kicked his shoes  off before patting the spot next to him. I walked over and kicked my checkered vans. He leaned against me and closed his eyes.

"John," Alex started. "I don't think you understand how much you mean to me. I didn't realize how much I could mean to someone for so long. I mean you know I was with Eliza, and I love her in the most platonic way, but I never felt the way I feel with you with her."

"My upbringing wasn't the best and I can only imagine going back to the new house after summer is over being a living nightmare of its own but, you are the peace I can rely on. And I'm practically a king of cliche at this point but I don't know where I would be without you and this summer. Without you nothing matters. I feel like people, especially where I'm from, think I have it all. This of so perfect family and a star football player with the little siblings who cause just enough trouble to keep our archetypal family in one piece when truly, we are in pieces."

"I understand. I mean, I'm adopted! I will never have that connection let alone know my parents like a normal kid. My dad left so there was no one to do cool things he enjoyed and my mom died in the hurricane. I feel like I'm in shambles. I have a mental disorder and I get that luggage with me every single day. I don't want to be a disappointment to the Washington's. They don't have kids because of a incident which I'm not even comfortable talking about. I wonder sometimes if I'm making the right decisions. I think I am though." Alex turned to me and looked me in the eyes. He gave me his iconic smile and I could feel myself melting. I was his correct decision. 

"I'm speechless."

"Good. I'm tired and I'm sure you are too now let's get some rest!"

"It you insist."