Twisted

V

Alex got out of bed at 7 and decided to pack her stuff for their trip.

The others packed their stuff yesterday when she was having her nap.

She sluggishly moved around her room and threw all the required things into her bag. She was an organized person but not when she had to stay up all night going through her dramatic episodes.

Sometimes she just wanted the ground to swallow her whole and keep her there so she could just torment herself with fruitless thoughts.

It just reminded her of her worth.

Worth that wasn't even there.

Tell her to save a million people from drowning in their miseries and she will but the only person she wouldn't be able to save was herself.

A person can console others but she just couldn't understand why a human couldn't console himself out of the darkness that aims on devouring him.

Why couldn't she forget if she could learn to ignore?

Why couldn't she swim when she could learn to float?

Why couldn't she stay and live with herself and her problems if she could learn to walk away?

Why was it easy to turn a blind eye to the box containing all her demons instead of facing them?

Why was it easy to help someone face their worst fears when she couldn't even seem to imagine seeing hers?

Why was she miserable when she knew their were people who survived worse then her?

Why did she always blame herself despite knowing she wasn't the one in the wrong?

Why did she feel abandoned when she had nobody to turn to from the beginning?

Why was she who she was?

That was it.

She stopped all these thoughts from devouring her sanity because she knew if she continued on she'll think of the thoughts that she forbid herself from even considering.

Alex zipped her bag and dragged her self to take a quick shower.

She mended herself while water trickled down her body. She sealed all her sorrow and smiled as the negativity left her mind.

Not forgotten no that just wasn't possible, just ignored.

She quickly got dressed in a violet cotton jumper with a simple silver belt.

She loved jumpers they were just easy to deal with, she also loved maxi dresses.

In summer jeans weren't something she could wear because it was very hot there and they would just burn her but that was just what she felt and she wouldn't judge anyone else wearing them instead she'd envy them.

She was a girl that could tolerate heat but if she wore jeans, they'd make her sweat and sweating was something she disliked so, she opted for wearing cotton maxi dresses and jumpers to avoid jeans because she could tolerate heat in cotton.

Though the down point was they needed ironing but she'd manage that instead of showering every other hour because of sweating buckets every few minutes.

Alex didn't like to wear showy clothes not that she had something against them but because something in her past had brought about that.

She tried her best to cover as much skin as possible that is why most of her clothes were full sleeved.

Alex didn't know what to do with her wet hair, the idea of using a blow-dryer was not appealing to her because she preferred to use electronics as less as possible and despite the new modeled hair-dryers that were said to have no diverse effects she wasn't keen on believing that fact.