'It's nice' Alexandra thought to herself, for once in her life she wasn't constantly riddled by her past.
But that was how Ry affected her although this time she also felt this foreign feeling - it was like her whole self was buzzed with electricity yet the most calm it had ever been.
Ryder continued to play with Alex's long strands while talking to the guys.
They were all sitting outside in the garden under the shade of the old oak tree, it was long past afternoon.
"Hey Alex, you never told us about what camp you chose?", Rina asked her curiously.
The moment Sabrina specifically took Alex's name, it was like everyone's attention steadily drifted towards them. The question didn't help the case either, they all wanted to know who Alex chose for the summer camp.
They all silently had pinned on Ryder's camp but with Alex, it could go either way because she adored them all too much.
Feeling everyone's eyes on her, Alex couldn't help but blush hard but proceeded to answer nonetheless. It seemed like they were all hanging on her every word.
"Umm ... I couldn't really join one camp in specific. It felt wrong and I wanted to spend time with all of you and learn from all of them , so I didn't join any camp", as soon as she finished her soft rambling, all of their jaws were nearly on the floor and their hearts in heaven.
"Awwww", they all exclaimed collectively, making Alex flustered. Not knowing what to do, she leaned back into Ry, who was sitting next to her with his hand stretched on the grass behind her back so he could lean near her lazily and hid her face in his neck.
Her hair that Ry previously released from her French braid, slowly curtained her face from everyone's gaze as she leaned back.
Ryder couldn't help but chuckle softly at his girlfriend's adorableness and slowly hugged her into his chest.
Everyone laughed out softly at Alex's antics making her shy away even more.
But that died out as soon as Francesca thought out her suspicions in the most nonchalant way possible.
"Hey, didn't the Principal say something about only Alex being allowed to join all camps at once if she wanted in our meeting?"
"Oh yeah, I suppose he said something about that", Deo confirmed her suspicions with a frown on his face, wondering why Alex didn't do just that.
This perked Alex's attention and she came out of her hiding place.
"What? I didn't know that", Alex exclaimed in a confused tone with a scrunched up nose and furrowed eyebrows.
Nobody had informed her of such proposition, if they had, she would've done just that and not be all sad about not being a part of the camp. These thoughts were slowly turning on her long asleep anger.
"Oh yeah, we must've forgotten with all the trip and adventures. The Principal gave you a special privilege, since you are a part of the band and all", Jeremy explained with a nervous chuckle.
This only triggered Alex's Anger more and her brows furrowed deeper. 'What do they mean?! They just forgot, like that! It was such an important thing'
Alex tried to calm her emotions but it was like all these feelings were running wild inside her.
Ryder feeling something was off with Al, quickly jumped into action.
He saw the time and it was 4:30, if they hurried they could make it.
"Hey, hey babe. Look at me Al, don't worry. We can still make it and submit your form. Come on, let's Roll", He said while grabbing Alexandra's shoulders and turning her his way then standing up and extended hua hand to her.
She appreciated Ry's concern but it did nothing to her rising furry.
So she refused his hand and stood up herself and glanced at her watch
Alex couldn't believe that none of them mentioned this before because the closing time of the form submission was 5:00 PM and it was already 4:30 PM.
"I appreciate your support but I'd rather go alone", she calmly told Ryder who froze at those words.
In that moment he realized how much they all fucked up by forgetting this simple fact.
"Al I get that but I'd still like to help out as much as I can, if you'll allow it", Ry softly replied.
Help!! Now he wants to help! Alex thought to herself with an irritated sign.
"I do not need any help, not now of all times", Alex replied harshly making Ry flinch. He had never heard Al raise her voice and this just proved his thoughts.
They all fucked up royally.
Alex realizing what she did, got her emotions even more worked up and all of her feelings jumbled up.
Not knowing what she was doing, she ran away leaving everyone in shock.
All she could think was about the form submission. She felt if she couldn't submit the form on time, something inside of her would snap.
She ran fast to the form booth and grabbed one, hurriedly filling it up.
Seeing that she only had 5 minutes left, she ran as fast as you could towards the form submission booth but it was too late. The booth was closed.
All the emotions that she tried to suppress decided to come out and dance around her.
Something inside her switched, not knowing what triggered this reaction Alex felt overwhelmed.
All of a sudden she felt this infuriating anger, like flames it licked her whole existence.
She felt betrayed at that point, no rational thought could convince her otherwise.
Always being the one left out she felt immensely isolated.
And the fact that her friends decided not to tell he about the one way in which she could be a part of their group. She Could've been a part of twisted, she could have been there as an equal with them.
But no!
They decided to not tell her!
No reason in the world could convince Alex otherwise.
Every demon she tried to keep down came out and blinded her decision-making power.
She tries to see the yellow sun, breathe the transparent wind, inhale her thoughts again, exhale her suffocation.
But she is still lost.
The waves are heavy to swim through, she does not know how to float, those overwhelming emotions are suffocating, those little things accumulated causing an unstoppable overflow of feeling; all she is - feeling, without a footing, she keeps on flapping.
But seems to be drowning.
Not knowing what to do.
Not knowing how to control these feelings, she decided to run in an unknown direction.
She decides to just run away from everything, everything.
She knew her happiness had to come with a price.
All the felicity that she felt in the last 48 hours disappeared, it vanished like footprints on snow.
Alexandra could never find happiness, 'never' is what she thought to herself as she ran as fast as she could, trying to escape everything that haunted her.
Somehow this one single fact triggered every bad feeling, she tried to repress all her life.
She couldn't control anything anymore.
Not wanting her friends to see her like this.
Not wanting Ryder to see her like this.
She decided to escape her fears,her being her very existence.
Unknowingly, this was the worst decision she had ever made in her life because what came after turned everything to ash.
She tried to hide shambles but they saw her as she turned to dust.
YOU ARE READING
Twisted
General Fiction"What is wrong with you?", Ryder asked Alexandra in a strained voice because he couldn't bear to watch her as she was fading away. She grew weak day by day. She spoke less day by day. She was losing strength. She couldn't battle with her self anymor...
