Saving You

06//It's my fault

Chapter 6

"The mind replays what the heart can't delete."
~unknown

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3 months passed..........
{Rose's P.O.V}
Everything seemed to fall into place again. My work is really good. Ian and I got closer but just as friends nothing more. Although sometimes he is weird but I hope that I am not giving him the wrong idea about us. I am not ready for love yet. It is not for people like me.

Today is the day I get to meet Ian. He told me that he needed to see me as soon as possible. I think something is wrong. Perhaps, He just wants to talk about his past or about Hayley.

2 hours later at Downtown Cafe.........

Ian is sitting nervously. I don't know what's up with him but he makes me really uncomfortable. He is silent. We are just sitting looking at each other. I realize how his eyes seemed dark today. They are not sparkling like everytime. There is something going on with him but I do not know what is it.

"Rose?"

"What!"

"I am ready to talk about my past. I really got tired of hiding it. I convince myself that I can forget it but I can't. It's hard, You know? I always try to hide my feelings. I try to be happy but I can't."

"Rose, You make me feel something I already lost. You make me remember her in some way I can't understand. You are not just my psychologist, Rose. You are more than that." He says these words while putting his hands over mine. His touch sends shivers to my whole body. I do not know what to do or how to act. But I am shocked that I do not even remove my hands. It feels right but at the same time wrong. I do not want to be attached to him. Rose focus! He is just a patient nothing more nothing less. I slowly slip my hands from under his hand. He notices and he looks at me in the eyes with a confused look. It is like he didn't expect this. I avoid eye contact with him and I look down at the floor.

"I am sorry Ian but we will never be anything more than friends." I say those words without even looking at him. I do not want to see his reaction because it's going to hurt me in someway.

"I am sorry........ I shouldn't have said that. Did I make you uncomfortable?" He says with so much concern that it hurts me.

"It's okay." I reassure him.

"I have to go to the bathroom be right back." He says.

I am really sorry Ian. I am just confused. I am really sad that I embarassed him like that but I do not want to give him hope that someday we will be something more than just a psychologist and a patient.

Meanwhile at the bathroom...........
{Ian's P.O.V}

What the f*ck did you do Ian? A good way to tell a girl how you feel towards her. I look at the mirror and I am disappointed to see the man that I have become. I am disappointed to see that I moved on. I never thought that someone would replace Hayley. It never crossed my mind. I never thought about it for even a second. I am really sorry Hayley but you left me in the middle of the road without even a warning. I really wish you were here with me. I will never forget you Hayley. You will always be a part of my heart and a part of my thinking always and forever.