A Beautiful Disaster

an ode to never: a slam poem

an ode to never: a slam poem

This is to all the endless possibilities of never for me,

I will never have that kiss in the rain,

I will never be swept off my feet,

I will never utter my ex's names under my breath,

I will never get to go back into the past,

I will never get to save my past self,

I will never get to look that broken girl in the eye and say "Put the razor down, you will make it."

I will never get to save her from her demons,

I will never get to save her from being bullied,

I will never get to save her from boys that used her,

I will never get to stand up for her,

I will never get to hold her in my arms and guard her from her fears,

I will never get to tell her about all the amazing things she will create,

I will never get to tell her she made it to college,

I will never get to tell her I'm sorry,

I'm sorry for all the things I never could do for her,

And yet, I look at that girl in the mirror every day,

And mourn for all the things I could've done to save her,

I could've done something,

I could've saved myself,

But that never happened.

a.b.