amirah
my ringtone woke me up from my nap, making me realize the sweat that my body produced as i was sleep.
i picked up my phone, and debated answering once i saw who it was.
it was a guy who i fucked a while back probably wanting to hook up again.
i stared at my screen, waiting for it to stop ringing.
it finally stopped after a minute.
my head fell into my not so soft pillow case and i stared up at the popcorn ceiling.
did i really just reject a booty call?
i groan and grab my phone again, calling the boy back.
it ring for almost a second before he picked up, almost like he was waiting for me to call back.
"hey!" his cheerful voice echoed through the speakers of my phone, making me flinch.
"hi evan. i was sleep when you called, what's up?"
"are you busy right now?"
i shook my head forgetting he can't see me.
"not at the moment. what do you need?" i said even though i know what's gonna come next.
"you wanna come over? we can chill, do a little more if you want."
"for sure! i'll see you in a bit." the pleasantness sounded as forced as it was but i guess he was too excited to dictate.
"great. i'll send you the address."
"okay." and with that i hung up.
i inhaled deeply and exhaled, getting myself mentally prepared.
didn't work.
i make myself get out of bed, something i haven't done in days.
i'm starting to smell and my hair feels like someone dumped a bottle of bacon grease in my hair.
i walked past josh's closed door, not making an effort to talk to him.
i lock the bathroom door and undress myself. i take off my fake jewelry and step into the shower.
i twist the knob and changed the flowing water that came out of the faucet to the rusty shower head.
the scolding water hit my clammy body and my shoulders fell, relaxing for the first time in weeks.
it's been hard to relax since i don't have my best friend around me anymore.
now that he's not here to distract me from my misfortunes, they came back unknowingly fast, hitting me like a ton of bricks.
it was a big reality check that i wasn't suitable for.
finn taught me self love and confidence but lately neither of those things have been apparent in me.
i don't have the feeling of being wanted anymore.
i've been gone for almost 3 weeks and no one has come to check up on me, except for millie and chosen.
