why?
why did i say that? how am i just gonna act like he didn't hurt me?
i'm so dumb.
but luca forgave him so i guess i had to as well.
i guess we can try.
"babe." luca called out to me, taking me out of my trance.
"huh?" i asked.
"we're here." i looked out the car window to see my apartment building.
i unbuckled my seatbelt and gave him a kiss on his cheek.
"thanks. i'll see you tomorrow."
he waved bye as i slammed his car door. i returned the gesture.
i said hi to jermane and all his friends before i went into the elevator to get to my floor.
josh was asleep in his room which basically meant i had the whole house to myself because once josh goes to sleep, there's no way you can wake him up.
that's probably a problem but i'm gonna use it to my benefit today.
i hooked my phone to my speaker and put it on the highest volume.
i pressed shuffle and took out some nail polish.
i began to to try to paint my nails as neatly as i could until a certain song came on.
i couldn't help but think of finn as i listened to the upbeat tempo through the speakers.
we would dance to this song on repeat until josh yelled at us to turn it off.
we laughed and jumped around, shouting the lyrics.
i twisted the nail bottle close and set it down on my dresser.
i jumped off of my bed and began hopping around, using my hairbrush as a microphone.
"been fed up with this, i just wanna go home. but damn that girl, set me up with her. bud dum boom dance with me baby! dance with me baby lets get lost right here hoooo." i swung my hair around and made the sounds of the instruments.
not realizing the door squeaking open, i continued jumping around and singing.
i flopped on my bed, taking a deep breath once the song ended.
clapping filled the room, making me sit up quickly.
it was finn.
i groaned and threw myself back on my bed.
"why wasn't i invited to dance to our song?" he tilted his head.
"because i didn't know we were on that level yet."
"i thought you said-"
"i know what i said." i cut him off, not wanting to hear my dumb decision out loud for the second time.
not like it hasn't been ringing in my head all day.
"then what's the problem?" he sat down on my bed making my bed shift at the added weight.
"nothin'."
"well it sounds like there's a problem." he said, looking down at me.
i just shook my head, lying.
"was it something that i did?" he asked.
WaS iT SoMeThiNg thAt i diD?
doesn't take rocket science to figure out that one.
i simply shrugged.
this caught his attention.
"wanna elaborate?" he offered.
i sat myself up and rested my back on the headboard, getting a better look at him.
i stared into his deep chocolate brown, almost black eyes as i thought of how to word my thoughts.
i shrugged again.
"c'mon babygirl, i can hear those gears turning." he teased.
that fucking nickname holy fuck i'm gonna kill him.
"that's the problem!" i said suddenly.
"huh?"
"this whole acting like nothing happened isn't working out for me."
"but you were the one-"
"i know finn. i know i said what i said, but acting like nothing happened keeps making me think about how you treated me."
he looked shocked to say the least but his expression soon turned to sympathy.
"i am so sorry, i was going through something-"
"you keep saying you were going thorough something but not explaining. i cant understand if you don't tell me." i threw my hands up, frustrated.
"i cant tell you." he spoke quietly.
"then can you leave because you obviously don't care about my feelings."
"well i wasn't prepared to speak about it since you said that we should-"
"i know what i -"
"can you stop cutting me off!?" he shouted making me jump.
"i'm letting you speak and you continue to speak over me when i even attempt! if you want me to leave then i'll leave! holy fuck!" he got up and walked towards my door.
"wait, finn." i said but i was too quiet over the loud music.
he slammed my door hard, making the framed pictures on my wall shift.
i lifted myself off of the bed and followed him out of the front door.
"finn!" i shouted down the hollow hallways but he ignored me.
fuck
i began to chase after him.
i grabbed his wrist once i got close enough to him, pulling him close to me.
he looked down at me with an intimidating look, making me coward back a little.
he looked down at my hand that held his.
i snatched my hand back as if i touched fire and played with the unpainted nails.
"i'm sorry for cutting you off so much, i still wanna continue talking." it was said pretty quietly but the empty hallway echoed my words back at me.
his soft fingers found there way under my chin and lifting my head up.
"say it while you look at me." he looked intense as he stared in my eyes, but never breaking eye contact.
"i would like to still talk to you." i basically whispered.
i began to think he would just start walking down the hall again but then he spoke,
"whatever you want."
