Magcon imagines and preferences

Shawn Mendes Imagine - In My Blood

Tick, tock, tick.

Time seemed to be running against you. It seemed to be that way a lot recently. It was 11 pm, and you were lying alone in your bed, the cold sheets wrapped around you. The space next to you was empty and seemed to be miles long, no one to occupy it. Shawn was still in the studio, again. For many times during the past few weeks, he had been staying after midnight, sometimes sleeping over in the studio so he could wake up and record more music. He won't even tell you what he's working on. He doesn't seem to care that you're the only one that doesn't know. Even his fans manage to know everything before you.

You don't know what to feel anymore. It's been at least a month since you've had a decent conversation and spent more than fifteen minutes with your own boyfriend. You don't even know if you can call him that anymore. You miss him, and you know that his music is very important to him, but you can't help but want to have him hold you in your arms and tell you that you come first.

You feel selfish, but most of all, you feel betrayed. Has he forgotten you're his girlfriend? Is he willing to throw away two and a half years because he isn't willing to look his own girlfriend in the eye? You just don't know anymore. Tears fill your eyes, threatening to spill over and drip onto the soft pillowcase beneath you. Choked sobs start to make their way from the back of your throat, begging to be let out along with all of your pent up emotions.

You hear the front door slam and quickly sit up, wiping away your tears and all trace of sadness. "Y/n?" you hear him call. "Here," you respond, voice cracking slightly. Footsteps can be heard, getting louder and louder as he gets closer to the bedroom. With every step he takes, your heart pounds even faster. He opens the door, not even bothering to greet you, just going straight to his dresser to get changed.

"How was the studio?" you say, voice cold and raspy from disuse. "Good," he said, giving a forced smile. It's your first time seeing him in twenty-four hours and all he says is 'good.' You don't know what he wants from you anymore.

A notification ding from your phone breaks your train of thought. You pick it up, jaw dropping as you read it. 'Shawn Mendes just posted a photo: In My Blood, out now.' "New song?" I spit, voice laced with venom. "Were you going to tell me about it or just slowly let your girlfriend suffer after waiting hours on end for you?!" you shout, anger breaking free.He opens his mouth to say something, but stops and closes it. You knew it. He didn't care, and he wasn't going to tell you.

"I don't think I can do this anymore," you say, voice flat as you stand up. "Wait, baby, no. Don't say that. You don't mean it," he pleads, his first real sentence to you. "Don't call me that if you don't mean it, and I know you don't. I don't want to be your 'baby' anymore when all I do is sit around and wait for you to notice me! I'm done being someone that you can ignore and only come to when your life isn't going as perfectly as you want it to! I love you, and you can't even bother to be here for me! I can't be with someone who can't be honest with me! And you can't even be honest because you're never here!" you scream, tears streaming down your face, heart pounding frantically in your chest.

"There's no good reason for you to walk out on us!" he shouts, throwing up his arms as the vein in his neck bulged. You rage, getting up in his face and pointing your finger at his chest, pushing him backwards. "You, Shawn! You're the reason I'm leaving! You're the reason our relationship is sailing down the drain!" you scream. He's taken aback, eyebrows raised and a glare on his face.

"You can't turn this on me! It takes two people to have a relationship! You knew what you were getting yourself into when we started dating! You knew it would be hard on us, yet you still choose to make a big deal out of my music, my job, my everything!!" he shouts, face red.

Your heart stops at this. "Wow, so music really is your everything. I thought that at one point, but I told myself that you weren't that shallow. That you really loved me and wouldn't do that to me. I guess I was wrong," you deadpan. He's at a loss for words, mouth opening and closing like a gaping fish. "This is why I can't be with you anymore. We're done," you say, words sharp like a knife.

"Y/n, please, we can work this out. Don't you dare break up with me. Not over this. You can't," he responds, every trace of anger now gone. His barrier is starting to break, as he tugs harshly at his curls. "Maybe someday we can try this again. But as of now, I need space. I don't know how long it'll take, but we need a break," you say, heart breaking with every word.

"This album is tearing us apart, and the fact that you haven't realized that until now shows how much you care about our relationship. That's saying something, Shawn," you cry. "You cannot walk out on me, baby. You can't do that to me," he says, tears pouring down his face. "Watch me," you say, going downstairs and opening the front door. "Goodbye, Shawn. I'll see you again. Someday," you say, not bothering to wipe away your tears before walking out and slamming the door behind you.

Shawn's POV

I was snapped out of my thoughts as the door slammed shut. She just walked out. Y/n just left me. I somehow manage to walk upstairs and lock myself in the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror. I'm a mess. My eyes are bloodshot, face puffy and red, stubble on my chin, and purple bags under my eyes from all of the late nights at the studio. I ran my fingers through my hair yet again, trying to process everything. I spent too much time at the studio that I neglected my own girlfriend. I got so caught up in my music that I didn't realize there were more important things in my life: people. Y/n.

I collapse onto the floor, gut-wrenching sobs shaking my body. It feels like the walls are caving in. My true everything just left me, and I don't know what to do. I can't lose her forever. I need her. I can't function without her. "Someone, help me," I sob, my heart breaking.

I didn't even tell her I loved her.

Eventually, when my tears dry, I realize what I need to do. I need to show her that I love her. The album isn't my top priority, she is. I have to get her back. I can't let our relationship go to waste. She's the love of my life.

Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I just can't.

It isn't in my blood.