Surviving Life with the O'Conner Boys

Chapter 17- Heart to Heart

Chapter 17- Heart to Heart

The house was unusually quiet, we all know what happened last time when it was quiet. But this time it was safe, things were different. The older boys were out at a party while Kol and Brandon were upstairs playing video games. As for Parker....he's just doing whatever Parkers do. Nathan and I ended up together in the living room. I had sat here first reading off my Kindle, while he strolled in later flicking on the TV to ESPN.

 I sat on the little corner of the couch curled up in my favorite sweats and t-shirt. It was the perfect bum-it-out day since it was raining. A rarity for California and I cherished it when the rain came. Nathan spread out on the couch the opposite way. He had one hand behind his head, the other holding the control and pointing it to the TV.

We haven't talked since the little incident at school with everyone finding out and Brad breaking up with me. It was hard not to talk to him since we lived in the same house and did pretty much everything as a family, like eating dinners together as an example. Especially when two out for the seven nights during the week my parents ate dinner with us. I could tell he would want to talk to me but every time he tried one of us would walk away or he would just close his mouth. Truthfully, I didn’t want to talk about that day.

I could hear the loud pitter patter of the rain tapping against the windows, the sound of down pouring rain hitting off the back porch. I loved when it rained, it almost made the atmosphere peaceful and quiet; calming. Something this house usually didn’t have.

I could hear the TV turn to commercial as Nathan shuffled on the sofa, "Do you hate me?" He whispered quietly, his foot barely touched my thigh.

"What you mean?" I whispered back, puzzlingly looking up from my Kindle.

"Well, you-we- haven't talked so I was wondering if you were made at me or you hated me for what happened on Tuesday." He shrugged looking back at the TV for a second and then back.

"It wasn't your fault. I guess... People just can't mind their own damn business or keep a secret. Someone always just wants to create drama into their boring life." I stated shrugging my shoulders back to him.

"You don't blame me for your brake up with Brad?" He questioned desperately.  

I shrugged looking down at my book but not reading it. “Of course not.” I had to say.

 If it wasn't for him living in this house there wouldn't have been a problem in the first place, hence the break up. Since he does it caused all of the drama to unfold and then bring to the conclusion that the O'Conner brothers live in my house making my boyfriend not trust me.

I guess in all honesty I knew it was going to happen eventually. Me keeping this secret that the O’Conner’s were living in my house, I knew it wouldn't last and I should have known that it would make Brad not trust me. Brad only did what he did because he was mad at me and I understand if the shoe was on the other foot; I would have probably done it too. But we just got to move on and get over it. What's done has been done. Shit happens.

The only person I blame is myself; if I wanted to act mature. In another case, if I wasn’t so mature, I would blame my parents for saying yes, then having the older boys leave me for their Senior Trip, then having Nathan give me nuts to send me to the hospital, to have everyone at the hospital, causing all the drama at school ending with Brad. But that would be the immature side of me saying that. All I have to blame is myself. And I accept that I screw up. This time it’s all on me.

"The decision was Brad and mines. Not anyone else's. He was right; I should have trusted him to keep it a secret. But between you and me... I wouldn't tell him that. Cause he would be all cocky and rub it in my face and thinks he would be right." I grumbled going off as if I were talking to myself.

"Do you still love him?" He question shocked me. Do I? We've been together for so long and so many times. I think I'll always love him, but to get back together with him? I don't know if I'd do it again. It seems that Fate doesn’t want us together. Do I still love him? Do I love Brad? Bradley. Brad Anderson. My best friend since fifth grade?

"I-uh- I don't know. Maybe. I guess I always will, just not like before." I stuttered, ignoring his longing gaze.

"Who ended it first?" He mumbled out of curiosity. For a guy who feels guilty about the situation he sure is asking a lot of questions.

"I-uh- don't know really. I guess it was both of ours. Maybe me." I shook my head not really knowing the answer, “Him mostly. He said it and I just agreed.”