Broken Star // Chandler Riggs Fanfiction

Chapter 21

*Thursday*

"Are you sure about this?" Chandler watched nervously from the couch. We had just finished filming, and I was trying on dresses for the party tomorrow.

"Chandler, we'll be fine," I smiled. I slipped on a plain black dress.

"Can you zip me?" I asked. I felt Chandler shift behind me. His fingers gently ran over my skin, he zipped up my dress and I turned around.

"Go to this party, for me," I held his hands in mine. He looked down nervously, before cracking a small smile.

"Alright," he whispered. I stood back and glanced at myself in the mirror. Chandler stood behind me, with his hands shoved in his pockets. I finally hung up all the dresses, and turned back to him.

"Chandler what's wrong?" I gave him a concerned look, wrapping my arms around him.

"I don't want to lose you," he stated simply, pulling me into his chest. We stayed like that for a while, in each other's arms.

"Goodnight," he whispered, kissing my forehead before leaving. I looked at myself in the mirror, my eyes darted to my wrists, there was nothing but pale white scars. I made sure I was alone before tugging off my dress, my waist was filled with scars.

I had never stopped cutting. It was like no matter what I did, I couldn't escape the gaping hole of depression. When I didn't have scars, I longed to feel the familiar sting and see the deep color of blood pricking my skin.

I felt unexplainable tingles thinking about it. My mind wandered to my dark past, to a single night. Only a few years ago.

I lay in my bed, shaking. My stomach was uneasy and I felt sick. I wiped the tears off my face, I was home alone and I was terrified. I felt stupid for telling Wes.

Only an hour ago I had taken a handful of aspirin pills, hoping to be gone from the world by morning. I gagged thinking about the bitter taste of pills in my mouth as I choked them all down. I saw lights flashing and quickly looked out my window, there was a police car and ambulance which had just parked on the driveway.

In that moment I wished I hadn't said my goodbyes to Wes, I wished he didn't call the police. I gulped nervously as I watched the police start to come inside the apartment. I breathed quickly, I would take back my actions if I could. If only the pills would kick in and make me drop dead right now.

I wiped away the tears, I heard knocks at the door. They quickly ascended into louder knocks. I wiped away my tears, and took a deep breath. I opened the door, two police men were standing sullenly. They looked around my house, before returning to me.

"Are you Ashley Quinn?" One of the men asked. I nodded, tears threatening to spill over.

"Where are your parents?" They asked.

"They're out," I gulped.

"Someone called and told us you were trying to overdose on pills? Is this true?" One of the men asked.

"Yes," I stammered. It was no use lying, I saw them give me a disapproving look, and I hated them. I wanted them to leave. It wasn't their business what I wanted to do to myself.

"Well, we need to take you to the ER, you will be questioned by a psychiatrist," the police walked me to the ambulance. I saw some people turn to watch as I stepped inside. They made me lay down on the stretcher, attaching a monitor to my finger.

I avoided eye contact with all the men. It was odd, overdosing wasn't as it was described, I felt normal, except for a burning in my throat, and nervousness in my stomach. I closed my eyes, trying to block out the people and noises. I felt them carry the stretcher out, and I felt some air conditioning, assuring me I was inside. I was rushed through sections of the hospital until they set me in the hallway of the er.