Against the Wall

Tastes like Paint

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Past 2 am... I just couldn't sleep until this was written...

Mommy, please don't kill me

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The hallways were vacant, due to students either being in the cafeteria or in a classroom, and I led Griffin to a small alcove next to a door. I tried swallowing, but the nerves made my throat completely dry. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, and then I looked up to find Griffin waiting expectantly.

"What did you want to talk about?" Griffin asked, but I could tell he already knew the answer.

"Our date," I said, digging my hands into my sweatshirt pockets. "I wanted to apologize for the way I acted."

"Apology accepted," Griffin replied, and I started to walk away. Before I could blink, my hand shot out and gripped his arm, stopping him.

"I'm not done yet," I said, "I wanted to explain."

"What's there to explain," Griffin said stiffly.

"A lot," I answered, cracking an uncomfortable smile. "The best place to start is the reason I freaked out in the first place."

"I'm listening," Griffin said, and he crossed his arms across his chest and leaned against the wall.

"Okay," I replied, searching for the right way to explain. "I guess the best way to put it is that I have a complicated past. You asking about my dad, it stirred up a lot of emotions, and..." my voice trailed off, and I rubbed my hand against my forehead in frustration.

"I grew up being told not to be vulnerable and not to tell people about my life," I said after a moment. "I don't really know you, and I just couldn't make myself tell you those things because of that."

"Funny thing," Griffin replied, "When two people go on a date, they're supposed to share about each other. I asked you out because I wanted to get to know you, and now you're telling me that you can't let me in."

"No!" I cried, shaking my head. My message wasn't getting through, and it was so irritating. "I'm trying to tell you that I want to get to know you, and as uncomfortable as it might make me, I'm going to try my best to let you get to know me."

Griffin didn't say a word, and I sighed. "You're not interested anymore, I get it. Sorry that I just gave you that huge rambling speech," I said, and I started to hurry away. I didn't want Griffin to see me cry.

This time, Griffin grabbed my arm. He turned me to face him and said, "You really got to stop walking away from me. This whole time you haven't given me a chance." I tried to say something, but Griffin pressed a finger to my lips, shushing me. "Now, it's my turn to talk."

I nodded, and Griffin ran a hand through his hair. "I get it. There are things you don't feel comfortable talking about right now. But, if we're going to try this, then, I need you not going to flip out every time I ask you a question about yourself."

This was going to be hard. Really hard. I think the scariest part of this whole situation was that I didn't know how it would end. I didn't know if the thing between Griffin and I would amount to something. I didn't know if he was the guy I thought and he hoped he was. I didn't know anything, and that terrified me.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and replied, "I'll do my best, Griffin."

"Good," he replied, and his mouth curved up into a crooked smile. "Then, we're going to have a second first date on Friday."

"Really?" I asked, smiling with relief. This could work. I was going to try my best to make this work. "Any disclaimers?"

"Just one," he said. "Make sure that you wear clothes that you don't mind getting completely trashed."