Band Oneshots!

John Lennon: I Hate Loving You

Y/N POV:

"N/N, what is it about him, really? What did he do?" Paul pressed, even though I'd asked him in no uncertain terms to drop it.
"Paul, I told you to leave it! He's a sex addicted pervert and I want no more to do with him than I have to, okay?" I snapped, not caring if John heard me at that moment. In fact, I partly hoped that he had, because in any case, he might leave me alone.
"Look, that's the way John is. I know he can be difficult, but he's our best friend, love. Maybe one day you'll be able to look past his flaws one day, because he really is a good guy," George piped up, defending his 'friend'. I just tutted and rolled my eyes.
"Can he really be that good a guy when he's a drug addict and a man whore?"
Before anyone else could say anything, I stood and walked out of the studio to have a smoke and calm down.
I stood in the back alley that ran behind the building and lit my cigarette, before stopping to actually look around after sensing another person was there. My heart sank when I saw it was John. I started to walk away before I felt a hand close around my wrist.
"N/N, you don't have to walk away every time you see me," John sighed. He knew I didn't like him one bit, and he knew why. I just shrugged and stayed put. There was no harm in staying around for just a moment. I continued to smoke until my cigarette had turned completely to ash, and went to pull out another before realising I was all out.
"Fucks sakes!" I groaned, throwing the empty packet on the cobblestone floor and started to make my way inside to ask George for another before that same hand and voice stopped me again.
"Just... have one of mine, yeah?" John offered, though it seemed very forced. I just rolled my eyes and took it from him, attempting to light it before getting frustrated that my lighter wouldn't work properly.
Of course, John was already there with his lighter to light my cigarette. This was when I snapped.
"Why are you so fucking desperate for me to like you?! I don't want your fags, your lighters, and I don't want anything else from you either! Is this just some sort of act? So you can get laid? Because it isn't gonna work!" I spun on my heels and walked to the front of the studio, fighting my lighter for fire, and finally took a deep breath of nicotine, sighing in satisfaction. Then, I did something I never did; I started to cry.
Tears started falling from my face and sobs began crawling from my throat as I let myself think what I wanted about Mr Lennon.
I knew he wasn't a bad guy! I didn't care that he was on drugs, and I didn't care that he liked sex. Who doesn't? He was a nice person, he was talented and he was genuine. He was also out of my league and so damned obvious about it! He FLAUNTED it! It's like he wanted me to know he was great and that he knew too. I sunk down to the floor and smoked between the sobs. The object began burning my lip and my fingertips, so I threw it on the ground and tried to regain what little composure I had left. Once my breathing was back to normal and I no longer felt a need to cry and scream, I made a quick stop at the bathroom to try and fix my makeup and walked back to the studio room the boys were sat in, Lennon included.
I knew I looked like I'd been crying, and I knew someone would ask. I just hoped it wouldn't be...
"Come on, love, time for another cigarette and a chat." ...John.
I stared at John, who smiled kindly, then my gaze fell to Paul, who did the same. I tried to plead with George silently, tell him to come with me instead, but he nodded at me, telling me to go. Ringo looked at me for a moment, knowing what I wanted, but gestured for me to go with him. I shook my head and reluctantly followed John outside.
He didn't hesitate in handing me another smoke and lighting it. However, this time I didn't shout or tut or ever roll my eyes. In fact, I smiled at him. I would have even said thank you, but I still didn't quite trust my voice not to break if I spoke.
"Come on now, love. What is it? What do I do? If I really upset you that much, I'm sure I can do something to help the situation..." he sighed. I shook my head. I wanted to tell him how it wasn't him, how he was a great guy, and how I loved him all in the shake of my head, but I knew I couldn't.
"Please, Y/N, just talk to me," John pleaded. I shook my head again, as tears started to fall once more. I hid my face under my hair and cried more.
I felt his arm rest around my shoulders, his hand holding mine, as his other played with my hair. I shook my head and smiled, knowing he couldn't see it.
"John...?" I whisper.
"What is it, love?"
"I don't hate you..."
He grabbed my chin so we could really look at each other as he stared at me in slight shock.
"What do... then why do you act like it?"
I could tell it annoyed him slightly, but he really tried to stay calm. It just made me smile a little more. He had such a temper, which I found attractive, but what I found even more appealing was that he knew when he needed to keep it calm, no matter how difficult that may be for him.
"Can we please just leave it at that? I don't hate you. In fact, I care for you very much. I don't want to talk about this right now, please..." I begged. I didn't want to ruin what little chance we had at being friends before it even began.
"No, come on now. You can't leave it at that. We need to talk all this through before we go back in there. I don't care if we smoke all my fags, okay?" He smiled kindly again and I felt my heart melt as I let out a little chuckle and allowed myself to snuggle into him and he held me.
"Look, I know what you think of me. Yes, I'm a drug addict, but at least I'm honest about it. Everyone knows about the cannabis and the LSD, because I allow it to be that way. And yes I like sex more than the average person, but I would never force anyone into anything. You need to know that, because I don't want you thinking of me as some pig!"
"John, honey calm down. You don't have to defend yourself to me. I don't care about the drugs and the sex. What I hate is that you're a great person, and you are so much better than me, but you know it and you rub it in!"
I'm not sure who looked more taken aback, me or John, but it was definitely a surprise to both of us that I'd said that.
"What?" John stuttered as my face flushed red.
"John, I- I didn't mean any offence by that! I just meant... you're out of my league... and I know you know that..."
I sighed and felt the urge to get up and walk away from him, but I never got the chance. As if he'd read my mind, John grabbed my wrist and held it tight so I couldn't leave. He stared at me in amazement before starting to lean in to kiss me. I didn't know what to do, but then he stopped in his tracks and I felt a strange sense of relief. He smiled for a moment.
"N/N, darling I wouldn't have even thought of kissing you if that were true. You're a stunning girl, body and mind. If anyone told you that you were any less than a beautiful mystery, they'd be wrong. I won't kiss you, just so I can prove to you that I'm not in this for a quick shag and run. I'm honestly in awe of you, and I love you, without a shadow of a doubt in my mind," he rambled. I giggled and stared, this time me in awe of him and of a sensitive, emotional side of him I'd only ever caught glimpses of before.
"John, I never knew you thought that...! Well obviously, or I wouldn't have been crying," I laughed lightly, thinking myself silly for getting so worked up.
John silently grabbed my hand as we stood together. We back into that room hand in hand, and I was a lot happier now I didn't have to pretend I didn't love that stupid man.

Hey, guys, it's Kat! Long time no see, I've been offline for a few weeks and I've missed you guys loads! A lot of shit has gone down recently, and I was in a really bad place, but things are finally starting to get better and I'm becoming a better person. Hopefully my writing will get better too! 😉😂
Anyways, I hope you're all well, and I promise to update soon! Please make requests, I don't have an infinite number of ideas here, but I hope you like the ones I do have. Lots of love,
Kat
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