Band Oneshots!

Crush: Never Your First Choice: Part 1

Y/N POV:

It hit me like a brick wall. Both the realisation of who it was, and his body.
C/N, with another girl.
Once again, someone skinnier, prettier and probably better than me in every way possible.
"Oh, hello." I spat, unable to hide the unbridled bitterness pulsing through me.
How long had it been? A week? Maybe two, if I'm being generous.
"Y/N! Long time no see!" He beamed, his exuberant voice betrayed by his guilty features.
I pondered for a moment, unsure on if I should play along with his charade or rain on his parade.
"Yeah, I know! Do you think maybe we could uh, catch up?" I played along. That boy has always been my weakness. No way am I gonna let this slide completely though. "Since, you know, I haven't seen you in soooo long!" I grin, sarcasm dripping from every word, obvious for his flavour of the week to pick up on. Her discomfort was nearing tangible.
"When was it...?" I smirk, refusing to drop this, despite his features begging me to move away from the subject.
"Come on, N/N, perhaps we should go somewhere else to talk. Now." His tone was both demanding and pleading.
"No, no, I'm thinking!" That smug grin refused to drift from my flushed face, anger bringing my blood right up to the surface. "Oh! I remember! We were-"
"Y/N!" C/Ns voice rumbled through me, pulling the grin from my face, along with my colour. I was rendered expressionless and pale.
"Uh... N/N, dear, shall we go get coffee?" He countered, steadying his voice. I simply nodded, too scared to speak. "Chloe, maybe you should head home? I'll call you later," he smiled and the gorgeous girl. Her own happy expression faltered, but only for a moment before she nodded, hugged him a goodbye and went on her way.
Then he turned his attention to me.
"What the hell were you thinking?!" He nearly screamed, and though it scared me, I was more concerned for his vocal cords.
"What was I thinking?! C/N, you are fucking delusional if you think I'm in the wrong here! Who is she?" I yelled, matching his former intensity.
Now it was his turn to pale, his face white as a sheet, bordering a sickly green.
"You don't need to tell me. Your new beau I suppose?"
He stayed silent, eyes glued to the floor.
Neither of the spoke, the air hanging between us, thick with unspoken guilt and anger.
"Y/N, I'm sorry... we both agreed that it wouldn't work!" He tried. I emitted a cold, brittle cackle that I didn't know I was capable of and shook my head.
"No. No, you told me it wouldn't work while I sat there and cried. I poured my SOUL out to you! And what did you do? You rejected me. So don't. You don't get to be sorry because this is on you."
I suddenly felt exhausted. Holding onto these feelings was tiring and now that they were gone, I was free, yet felt empty.
"I was stupid. I don't expect forgiveness but maybe a little compassion!"
And my energy was back just like that.
"You're asking me for compassion... after everything you've done? After you used me as an emotional and physical outlet? After you dropped like a piece of garbage? When all I asked for was YOUR forgiveness for whatever I had done? You know, I thought for a long time that I was the problem. That I hurt YOU. I hated myself, C/N, because I never wanted you hurt! Now I know that you were in the wrong. Don't you fucking dare ask me for compassion and understanding. You drained all of that from me time and time again, and it's not coming back until I can fully heal..." I signed, exasperated, tired and broken. I felt the tears pushing their way forward, but I had to hold them back.
"I know when you're about to cry..." he whispered, taking a step closer.
"No! Don't come near me! Because I will cave, you'll get what you want and both of us will be responsible for Chloe's heartbreak!"
His eyes softened.
"I know this isn't what you want to hear, but Chloe is nothing like that to me. At one point, I was interested, but she is nothing more than a friend to me," he sighed, suddenly defensive.
"And why is it so important that I know that?"
"Because I have waited too long to make everything clear for you, and to take things further. I kept you coming back so I could have you, and not have you at the same time, because I was terrified."
I stared, mouth hanging open in awe and eyes wide.
"You... you manipulated me for weeks as a means to an end, because YOU were scared...?" I gawked at him.
"Y-yes..."
"Do you realise how terrified I was of this? Of how I was feeling? I had never felt love like this for anyone before, and you were a pretty bad first experience..." I groaned, thinking of all the times that we'd had together. All the things we'd done that couples do. He'd held off the label though.
He sighed and a sad smile tugged on his lips. His body shifted towards me, resulting in a warning glare. He stayed rooted to his spot, gazing at me from the short distance I fought to maintain. He felts miles away.
"Darling, I never wanted to hurt you! And before you say anything, I know everything I did caused you pain that you never deserved. You're too good to me. You're too good FOR me! I don't deserve you, and you don't deserve the way I treat you. It isn't fair. So I'm letting you go..."
His voice trembled and my heart shattered.
"Letting me go...?" I intended to fake some sort of positive emotion, but instead sounded like a hurt puppy. And I was hurt. As much as he had damaged me, the time we had with each other seemed to heal my fractured heart.
"Unless..." he started.
I had a choice to make.
"No. No, it's the right choice. Letting go will be good for the both of us. I can focus on healing, and you can find someone you really love..."
I rubbed my temples, wondering if letting him let me go was the right choice. It had to be. There would be less pain in the long run, even if it hurt like hell for the time being.
"Y/N, I love you. I know I didn't show it, but I really do love you. Leaving this- leaving YOU- is tearing me apart, because you're it for me. But if it's really what you want, I will leave right now. I won't look back and I won't bother you again."
His voice was steady, his words genuine but his face. Oh god, his face was that of a broken man.
I paused, stopping to take him all in, relive every accessible memory, and prepare myself.
"I'm sorry, C/N. Goodbye..."
I bit back tears, watching him do the same. After all this time, it came to nothing, and that was my decision.
"Goodbye, Y/N. It's been fun..."
He smiled one last time, that twinkle in his eye ever-present, yet fading.
And I watched the love of my life turn and walk away.

Lil bit sad, I know. But there's a part two coming in basically a minute and it gets happier! I know these are a bit different from what I usually do, but I really enjoy doing them so I hope you guys enjoy reading them! Love you all and stay happy! 🦄🦄
-Kat 🧡