Everyone Breaks 2

-20. Wonder

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**Zoe's POV**

I was laying in Pavel's arms after we had sex right after he spanked me aka beat my bottom & legs with a belt. At least he gave me aloe get this time. He's still punishing me for running away, or so he says.

He made me promise I wouldn't run again. Does he actually think I'll never try, I don't know. Maybe I won't. What's the point, they'll probably find me wherever I go & then he probably won't even stop hitting me if I begged him or not. Just like he did in the basement. It seems so long ago now.

This is my life now. I belong to 3 men & I have no say in the matter.

I wish I could say I'm getting used to the pain, but I'm not. Almost everytime he hits me with the belt, I cry out. He spanks me until I beg him to stop. It's the same routine about twice a day.

I think he just doesn't understand his own strength that's what it is. He loves me & doesn't know how to show it.

I was hoping now I could talk to him while he's in a good, after f*ck & spank, mood. I just need to talk to him with humility. He wants me to understand that they are above me & control me. Until I find a way around that, I have to yield to his punishments & test of my obedience. I think I've been doing fairly well.

I've been struggling with the contemplation of yes they love me & no they dont love me. He makes me say it so much...I really think he just loves me in his way. Its like he's testing my memory on everything im suposed to reply to him, So it has to stay in my mind.

He interrupted my thoughts as I layed there with his arm around me. Almost like he knew what is was thinking. "Who loves you Zo & who do you belong to" he said

"You love me & I belong to you Pav" I responded. He pulled me closer to his chest. I thought my pain with him was supposed to end yesterday, but I'm still here.

I guess Willem & Pav agreed to have Pav keep me longer. I guess Zac & Willem don't mind me having bruises on my arms, wrist, thighs & neck.

The slaps on the face are rare & lately only when I don't reply to him soon enough. Yep. I've learned to reply quickly.

"Um Pav, babe. I know you like to keep me in here with you, but I need to take my girls for a hospital checkup. They're 9 weeks today & you've made me miss their 8 week checkup being locked- I mean being limited to this room"

"Did you say your girls?" Is all he replied while slightly turning to glance at me.

"I mean, our girls. I need to take 'our' girls for their medical check up".

They are my girls, but he told me the other day I needed to stop calling them just mine. I want to roll my eyes thinking about it.

When I have Remie & Aiva alone, I tell them they are only mine. I hope my words stay in their little minds & they remember.-

"You girls are all mine. You will never belong to those creeps. Never trust them. Mommy loves you....
Unforgettable
That's what you are
Unforgettable
Tho' near or far

Like a song of love that clings to me
How the thought of you does things to me..."

That's been my routine when I have the girls. They love my song to them. They are mine & mine alone. I think telling them that keeps me more in my right mind. I need to remind myself not to fall for them.

Pav has still been limiting my sleep. It's injustice that he gets to sleep & only lets me sleep about 2 - 3 hours a day. I know that's why I've been getting confused about my feelings for Pav & the others.