Mullette|| Not Alone (Hamilton Junior High AU)[COMPLETED]

Ch. 10

tw: depression

Laf's POV:

     It's Sunday and I get up out of bed feeling upset and light headed.  I sit on my bed for a while not wanting to move not wanting to do anything.  I look out my window and it's dark, wet and rainy and I go back to my bed and just lay down.  I sit there and just start to think, I get into my head and start to feel dizzy, but I ignore it.  I sit there thinking about everything I've gone through in the last couple of months.  Then I go back farther and I start to think about my 6th grade year.

Flashback 

     I sit on the ground by the classroom door at recesses like I do everyday, not wanting to do anything.  Then I look up and see my friend standing there "hey Laf come on let's go hang out with them" she says pointing over at the group I highly despise.  I look at her and shake my head no.

     She rolls her eyes at me "come on Laf, this is all you do at recesses, you just sit here and do nothing, let's go and do something" I look at her thinking to my self "this is not me I'm not going over there."  She grabs my arm and pulls me up, I walk slowly behind her not wanting to do it. 

     She says "come on let's go and sit on the bars with them that's all" I look at her sadly "no I'm not going over there." She looks at me almost mad and just turns around and goes to the group. 

     I turn around and go back to the classroom door.  I sit down and I bring my hands up to the back of my neck and I start to scratch.  This is sad, the only friend I have I don't even fit in with, she deserves to be friends with that group not with me, I don't even know why she's friends with me.  I don't have anything in common with her, she likes new rap music and I like musicals, she cares what she looks like and I take about five minutes to get ready in the morning, she's more carefree and lazy and I get my crap done and stay on top of my school work.  

      I sit there ranting to myself in my head while scratching aggressively at the back of my neck. RING.  The bell rings and I stop, and I wipe the tears out of my eyes.  I stand up and walk back into the classroom with a big red spot on the back of my neck.

Present time

     I'm sitting on my bed and realize that I was scratching the back of my neck.  I stop and also realize there are tears running down my face.  Then I here my phone making a sound saying I got a text.  I look at my phone and see the time.  It was 3 in the afternoon.  How long was I asleep?  How long was I sitting here?  I look back at my phone and see I had, 20 new messages and 10 missed calls.

     I look through my phone and see that Herc tried to text me but I didn't answer then I'm guessing he told everyone else I wasn't answering so they started to call and text me.  I start to freak out.  They all are probably wondering where I am and what's going on.

     As I'm freaking out Herc, Alex, John, Angelica, Eliza, Maria, and Peggy rush into my room.  I look up at them with tears in my eyes.  Herc runs over to me "oh my god! Laf what's wrong, your sister let us in" he says completely panicked.  He hugs me and I just cry into his chest as everyone comes into my room and gathers around my bed.

     I look up at him with tears in my eyes "I'm... so... sorry for... scaring you... like that" I say struggling to get the words out.  Herc just pets my head saying in his calming voice "it's ok, it's ok" he repeats it until the next thing I know I'm asleep in his arms.

(time skip, a couple hours later)

     I wake up laying down in my bed the back of my neck burning with pain.  I look over and see Herc looking at me with worry in his eyes "Laf?!" I sit up saying a quiet "ya" as everyone comes back in from out in the hall.  I see everyone come in looking just as worried as Herc and I see John come in with food in his hands.

     John walks over to me with the food "I thought you might be hungry, your sister said you haven't come out of here since last night and didn't eat much dinner" John says handing my the plate of just plain bacon and eggs.  I look down at the food and kind of push it away "I'm not very hungry" I say weakly.

     Herc looks at me seriously "Laf eat!" I sigh and grab the plate and eat a bite of the eggs.  After I finish all the questions start to pile in "are you ok!" "what happened!" "why were you crying!" "why is your neck red?!"  My eyes start to get wide and Herc holds up his hand to stop them "you guys Laf is having a hard enough time right now, just calm down" I look at Herc with a look as to say "thank you" and he nods his head as to say "your welcome."

     I look back at the group and I start to explain "well this morning I woke up not feeling well... and I started to have flashbacks, after that I just went into a panic attack, and that's when I started to scratch my neck" I say motioning towards my neck "and I didn't notice my phone going off or what time it was, and that's when you guys came in" I finish and they all look sad. Crap I made them all upset, the one thing I didn't want happening.

     They all come in and group hug me.  I start to here whispers of "it's ok" "it will be fine" "we're here for you."  I look down, I hope it will be fine.