anathema//spam book

i fucked up (tw for suicide/selfharm)

hi. i don't know if anyone even reads these. oh well. 

i messed up last night. i told my friends that i almost did something really bad and blue's boyfriend (lets call him red) told his mom, and his mom texted mine. and i told blue and red if they told an adult that i would never speak to them again. and then when red told me he told his mom, i lashed out at the both of them. they both probably hate me right now. i want to apologise, but i don't know how. when my mom got home she told me that my dad would take me to the mental hospital for a crisis assessment. i don't know if i'll be held or not. i most likely will.

well that's all for now.

stay chill and please stay safe. 

update (18th april, 2018)- so i'm not going to a mental hospital. my therapist said it would be okay as long as my parents keep an eye on me.