deh mythical creature au

evans eating habits+grocery store

-evan has abs just from holding his top half up all the time, but theyre hidden under a layer of squish from him eating a lot

-evans eating habits are atrocious

he eats everything all the time to gain all the calories hes burning just by walking around with all the weight he is

-he hates how much he weighs despite his bmi being normal

-but he cant not eat because he'll pass out and a passed out centuar looks absolutely hilarious, the top half leans either forward or backward, while the horse half just stops, standing wherever it is they passed out

-he woke up covered in drawings the last time that happened

-so he eats, healthy things when he can but jared doesnt usually buy healthy things

-the grocery store is a nightmare for evan

-without fail, he will his his head on the door, as well as low hanging signs.

-he cant operate a shopping cart because hes too tall

-his back half is in the way of some middle ages sourpuss who scolds him for not paying attention

-hes also terrible with socializing and cant use regular lines, as he doesnt fit and hes awkward, so hes stuck bending down to struggle with self checkout instead

-since the other two don't go often enough, evan is forced to endure the grocery store on his own

- he never told the other two how terrible grocery stores are for him

-until one day jared puts together where evans shitty mood every two weeks was coming from

he caught evan just as he was about to leave for the dreaded grocery store

jared pov

"Hey ev?" the centuar stopped, mildly glad for the delay. "Where ya goin'?"

"The grocery store?"

"Can i come?" i asked, deciding to investigate because i knew evan wouldnt just tell me.

We walked to the nearby grocery store, and upon walking in evan clearly was too distracted to be thinking about ducking in time so as he went through the door he banged off the top, hissing in pain

i saw an employee snort and sighed, and our trip only got worse from there, i had to help evan with most everything, leaving me owndering how he did any of this on his own.

as we left i looked up at him and asked, to which his response was,

"i manage."