Head vs Heart

Tell me ,fucking tell me .

Bella’s Pov

It has been eight day and seven hours.  My wolf was in severe pain that I couldn’t put in words. The longing for him was unbearable. I couldn’t eat , sleep , or do anything without him . I stared the moon through my window wrapping the warm blanket to keep my baby girl warm, to tell you the truth she was the only thing that kept me going if it wasn’t for her in me , I would probably tried to do something as selfish as suicide. That’s how bad it was. It was worse then everything bad happening in my entire life put together.

I haven’t spoken to anyone expect Liana a few words which she chocked out of me . It was impossibly hard for me to breathe without him here , without his arms around me comforting me.

Why couldn’t we work things out like normal people? The funny thing is that I don’t even know what happened . I replayed the scene from over a week ago in my head a thousand times repeating the exact words he said to me, they didn’t make sense.

I don’t know how long I can keep going . My wolf begged for his to come back. The thought in my mind travelled randomly giving me silly ideas such as him touching another women in a drunken state, which made my blood boil immediately.

I wonder if he is ever going to come back? He has to ! He can’t just leave like this ! Who does he think he is leaving me with one kid and another on the way plus the whole pack on my shoulders. I may not have taken responsibility before back they are part of me now and I have to but with him gone everything is black and white . I can’t  see any good anymore .  This part of me is gone , he took it and left me all broken , comparing this to having nothing is worse because the part that is left in me is missing him constantly , wanting him , needing him .

To be honest I am starting to regret mating again. But now it’s too late , I don’t know if I can break it again and if it’s even possible because our bond is stronger then ever.

I snapped out of my thoughts , when I felt him . He was near . The pull for him was irresistible I came out of my room running where my instincts guided me. I saw him in the doorway downstairs. I could feel him , I could smell him and I could hear him.

I run into his arm even though it was so dark in the corridor you couldn’t see anything . I hugged him, squeezing the life out of him . My wolf was a bit satisfied but obviously wanted more as the pull towards each other has grown a lot stronger when he left .

He hugged me back, His big hands but gentle around my waist keeping me nice and secure and most importantly safe.  The out of nowhere the angry started to overbank me like a river over flooding.  I stepped back quickly switching the lights on . He looked like shit , but I looked no better. He didn’t shave evidently but that made him look more like a grown men , my sexy grown men.

Shoving my desires to deal with later away . Before he could pronounce a word or do anything. I slapped him across his face as hard as I could. Well you could say this was my pregnant hormonoes acting out. I watched his shocked expression definitely not expecting that . He placed his hand of his cheek massaging it because it hurt . Hah I hurt the Alpha. I thought to myself.

Again before he could recover from my unexpected attack , I screamed at him probably waking up the whole pack house but that didn’t matter .

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ?! WHY DID YOU LEAVE!?? YOU KNOW HOW SHIT I FELT ! IF YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN ! I WON’T EVER SLEEP WITH YOU , NADA. AMIGO. PLEASE DON’T TELL ME YOUR EXCUSE BECAUSE LEAVING ME IN THIS STATE WAS NEVER A OPTION AND YOU STILL DID!! GOD ALL MIGHTY WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME SUCH A MATE !? DON’T YOU CARE A LITTLE?! WHAT ABOUT OUR DAUGHTER OR SON?! WHAT ABOUT ME! WHAT YOU DID WILLIAM WAS VERY SELFISH AND IRRESPONSIBLE! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU BROKE OUR PROMISE !! I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU DID THAT YOU BASTARD ! NOW FUCKING TELL ME ! FUCKING TELL ME WHAT THAT WAS ABOUT ?!” I screamed at him using hand gestures and finally putting my hand on my hips confidently.  I couldn’t believe I had the guts to do something  like this put he deserved it and I need fucking answers.

He just stood there amazed at me , he mouth hanging open and his hand still of his cheek. It did kind of looked funny. By the time I finished giving him my little speech the whole pack was around us looking at the show. I didn’t care.  He still didn’t say anything until I snapped my fingers impatiently of front of his face saying  “ Speak now.” .

He blinked frequently and then replied “ I – I am sorry Bella. I am really sorry” Looking down at his feet in shame.

“I fucking know you are sorry before you came into the house! Why the fuck would you leave me , Will?” I said trying to be more calm but it was hard .

His eyes met mine and guilt spread all over his face .

“Bella I thought the baby is someone else’s .. “ He said quietly .

“Why William ? You know I am not a whore !” I told him.

“It’s just that to get your wolf back I gave my .. urmm.. emmr.. “ He struggled to say .

“Spit it out Will, I am getting fucking impatient..” I said tapping my foot on the floor furiously.

“ I gave my fertility gift for your wolf to be back and when you told me that you are pregnant I over reacted …” he explained .

“Over reacted !? Are you kidding me ?! I went mental  without you here !” I shouted at him throwing my hands in the air angrily.

“ I am sorry ..” Will said again.

“how did I get pregnant then ?” I asked curiously trying to keep calm.  Even before he said he is sorry he was forgiven so I just ignored it.

“I talked to the witch and she said she felt sympathy for us so she didn’t take it.” He said slowly carefully waiting for my reaction.

I was totally out of control and I needed his touch . The next thing I knew I done is throw myself in his masculine arms and kissing passionately with all that I got.

He immediately responded and kissed me back, no caring if everyone saw . Then I felt his hands slipping up my shirt making me moan in total pleasure . We quickly made our way into his bedroom, forgetting about the audience downstairs. When he lay down me on the bed , he broke the kiss making both of us gasp for air.

He looked into my eyes intensely and said “ I am sorry Bella, I felt everything you felt throughout the past few days and honestly I feel like such a dick for doing this to you is that I just went mad and all.. I hope you forgive me , I love you.”

“William , I forgave you before you even said your sorry . I love you too. Now… make love to me honey” I whispered into his ear not being able to control myself anymore.

Thank you so much for all the support! <3

Hope you like this quick chapter ! :)