I've Got You | On My Block (fanfic)

Chapter 17: This feeling inside

"Ha! See, didn't I tell you Lucious, had completely got his memory back! And now he'll do everything in his power to win Cookie back!" I look at Cesar bemused by his reaction "for years you kept making out that I was forcing you to watch Empire, but it seems that while we've been apart, someone has been keeping up with the show!?!" he tries to look at me and watch the show at the same time, but he can't so he hits the space bar on his laptop to pause it. "maybe I was too hasty when I criticised the show before, the storylines have real depth, the music is amazing, and did you know babe, that they can all actually sing, thats their actual voices when they're singing," he presses the space bar and contiues to watch the show.

It's 9:52 pm and we're lying in the suites giant bed together watching an episode of Empire that Cesar downloaded on his laptop, there are a few candles in the room lighting it a little. Luckily his laptop was plugged in when he was projecting the video he made for me, and his battery was 100% charged before the blackout. So we decided to relax in bed and watch Empire together. We've been a couple again officially for 1 hour and 11 minutes, and we've fallen right back into our old rhythm, lying in bed, in our underwear, watching something. Cesar has his arm around me, and my head is on his chest, as he twirls my hair between his fingers. I thought that it would feel odd lying semi-naked next to him, but this is more PG13 compared to our earlier R-rated raunchy make-out session on the couch.  We're staying in the suite because Cesar decided, rather than risk making our way through the pitch black hotel in an attempt to find our rooms, it would be safer for us to stay in the suite tonight, I not complaining as I get to spend more time with him. I  text Liv to let her know that I'm with him and am safe.

We are more than halfway through Empire when the sensation all of a sudden comes over me ,and starts rising in the pit of my stomach.  I rush out of bed and stumble into the pitch black bathroom, banging my leg against something in the process but not caring as I feel around for the toilet. "Monse! What's wrong? Are you okay? What's happened?" Cesar calls rushing after me, my hands find the toilet and I quickly lift up the lid, emptying the contents of my stomach. I see a light shine inside the toilet bowl and workout that Cesar is using the torch on his phone to find me, he promptly puts the phone down "Hey...it's okay...I'm here," he says softly as he holds back my hair and rubs my back.
The wave takes forever to settle, I am shattered afterwards, I take the glass of water that Cesar hands me and rinse out my mouth, flushing the toilet and closing the lid, "you okay now babe?" he asks me his voice full of concern. "I think so, but that didn't feel like it was ever going to stop!" I say, my voice is husky and my throat is sore. I try to get up but I feel light headed, he grabs hold of me before I fall "okay, okay...I've got you! We're just going to sit down for a bit," he commands and sits down with me on the cool bathroom floor. I sit there curled up in his arms, as he flicks through something on his phone, "your 14 weeks right?" He asks, "yes," I answer, my voice still croaky, "okay this website says that by now your nausea should be dying down, which it's not, but some women suffer from something called hyperemesis gravidarum, which is  severe morning sickness. Symptoms are; vomiting that occurs three to four times per day or an inability to keep anything in the stomach, weight loss, headaches and dizziness!" I look up at him "I just ate more than I have done in a while, so please stop worrying, and let's go to bed,"  I plead. He kisses the top of my head and slowly helps me up, I scold him for trying to carry me.

The bed feels even more comfortable as I get into it, after laying on the cold, hard bathroom floor. Cesar brings me a cup of Abuelita's tea, but my throat is still so sore, I can only manage a few sips. Cesar gets into bed and puts his arm around me, I lay my head on his chest, as he starts scrolling through his phone again, " so this hyperemesis gravidarum occurs in a lot of women and is more common in multiple pregnancies, as in twins or more," I take the phone out of his hand, "okay that's enough Google diagnosis for tonight," he looks down at me, "fine no more talking about nausea, but I found out its normal for you to have a higher than normal sex drive, which explains our erotic moment earlier on the couch," I can hear the smile in his voice as he says that "and I also found out that when you're 15 weeks it...the baby...can start to hear things." he put his hand on the lower part of my stomach, where the tiny bump is, "I'll be 15 weeks on Friday," I tell him quietly.

He looks down at me "Can I talk to it...do you mind?. I know you're not 15 weeks yet, but maybe it can hear something now," I nod slowly "ok," I agree. He moves his arm from around me and I lie back against the pillows, he shifts down the bed until is head his level with my tummy. Resting on his elbow he uses his free hand and folds back the blanket to my thighs. I watch him as he lightly strokes the tiny bump, he moves closer to my stomach, "hey in there, I'm not sure if you can hear me or not, but I thought I would try talking to you anyway, so you get used to my voice...because...because I'm your dad!" I bite my lip hearing Cesar say those words aloud for the first time, and he said them with such a sweet smile on his face. "So the other voice you might be hearing all the time is your mom's. I was telling her the other day, that you're about the size of a lemon now, which is a fruit, and you'll soon be the size of an orange. I can't wait until you're big enough for your mom and I feel you moving around in there." Watching him talk to the baby, brings tears to my eyes because it's in that moment I realise that in such a short space of time how attached Cesar has become to it. "so we are kind of stuck here in the Rocky's because the storm has cut the power in the hotel, it's a nice hotel though, your mom and I are in a big suite right now because she told me I had to woo her," he looks up smiling at me, but his expression soon changes when he notices that I'm crying, "babe whats wrong?" He shuffles back up the bed towards me, "nothing," I sniff trying to wipe away the tears, damn these bloody hormones I seem to cry at anything.

"Hey...talk to me", I look up at him, "you've got really attached to the baby... so quickly...watching you just then...you...you want to keep it don't you?" He looks down at me, "I not going to lie to you, finding out you were pregnant was a shock, and we've got a few months until your due. And I'm excited about seeing our baby be born, a little you or me, but I'm dreading that day too because that may be the last day we see our child. I've only known about the baby for 2 days, so, to be honest, I haven't really made up my mind yet, but if I had to answer at this very moment...yes I would want us keeping it." he looks me dead in the eyes and all I can see is baby Rose from my dream and her having Cesar's eyes. What if our baby is born and it looks identical to Rose. What if I had dreamt about our baby before it's even born? My mind is all over the place, "I don't know what is the right thing to do. Can we talk about it another time, I'm so tired from earlier," he gives me an understanding smile and kisses the top of my head. I turn on my side away from him and he spoons me from behind, wrapping his arm around my waist, and pulls me closer to him. "I love you Cesar," I whisper to him, he kisses my shoulder, "I love you more Mon". There is only so long I can delay that conversation about our baby, and there are so many other conversations that need to be had. But for now all I want to do is focus on rebuilding my relationship with Cesar, everything else can wait.