The Diary Of A Bloody Fresher.

Chapter Twenty-One: "Our" Friend?

'And God, please let this UI issue get resolved so that our children can go back to school in Jesus' name.'
That's my mom. This prayer point has been on her lips every morning devotion we've had, ever since we got home. I wonder if she isn't tired. God is clearly not going to answer because He knows people like me are not ready for school. We've been home since the end of May, and it's already almost the end of June too. She really should stop asking for this.

'Amen.' Everyone choruses. Well, everyone except me, as usual. I haven't read a thing since I got home. I'm far from being ready for resumption. Resumption will bring about exams, you know.

'Thank you Faithful Father, for in Jesus' mighty name we have prayed. '

' Amen. '

Morning devotion has now come to an end and we all part to go do whatever it is we want to. Of course, I return to my room and get back to my decent sleep. I stayed up late last night watching movies on Dami's laptop.

My room door opens and it's my mom. Yeah, Nigerian parents never knock.
'What do you people want for breakfast?'

'Anything.' I mumble.

'Anything abi?'

'Ask the others.' I groan.

'okay o.'

Since when did we begin to operate a democracy in this house? I bet she's out of ideas for breakfast. She'll figure it out. I need to get my sleep.

I'll be going out today to see the guys, but that would be in the afternoon. I'll go with Dami whenever she's going out. That's because I need someone to pay my t-fare. I barely have any money left with me. I need to start collecting allowances even while I'm at home.

I hear my mom closing the door.

'Mom!'

'Yes.'

I manage to sit up on the bed. 'Can I start getting allowance while I'm at home?'

'For what?'

Oh God! How will I answer this question? I definitely can't say it's for going out. She'll tell me to sit at home.

'Breathing.' I shrug.
Wait, what did I just say? Now that is the stupidest response I have ever given.

She hisses 'O jebi tí ò ń breathe.' She shuts the door of my room.

Oh crap! I do need money.

***************************************

'Etse!'

'What?'

'It's past eleven.'

'So what?'

'I'll kick you off this bed.'
Whenever Dolapo says she'll kick you off the bed, she WILL try something nasty. But why on earth is she waking me up?

'What?' I manage to open my eyes.

'Check your phone for the good news.'

'What good news?'

'Just check.' She's giving an evil grin. Let's hope nothing is wrong.

I pick my phone from my side then sit up and look straight at her.

'What exactly am I to check on the phone?'

'Whatsapp. Any school related group chat.'

'Why exactly?'

'Okay, I'll break the news to you then. Exams are now starting on the 4th of July.'

What kind of unnecessary morning prank is this?