GoodBye [ Jimin X Reader ]

Chapter 19

YOUR POV

I woke up feeling a tremendous pain in my back and my face felt so swollen and it hurts. I tried sitting up with the pain on my back, groaning and biting my lips, trying not to let any more groans escape my lips. I went and took a warm bath and let's say it was a bad idea. Normally when people take a bath, it should be comforting and relaxing but to me, it hurts. The warm water touching my new opened scars and bruises felt like lots of needles stabbing on my skin thousand times repeatedly. Every drop of water felt like fire burning on my scars, making it worst. When I was done bathing or should I say suffering, I went to the mirror and saw a horrible looking girl, oh it's me. I used to have an average weight of any other girl, not too skinny nor too fat. But now all I see is a skinny, pale looking girl with bones sticking out as if the girl starved for years and dying. And to top that was lots of purple-black bruises, red line here and there and some old scars. But the most "Beautiful" thing was my back that was carved by Mrs.Natalie yesterday night. I turned my body slightly and saw a big "SLUT" carved on my back near my neck. It was bloody deep and it will take months or years for it to heal. Of course Mrs.Natalie carved more hurtful comments on my back like "whore" "kill yourself" but what stood out the most was "you don't deserve love", I've known that from the start and now its carved on my back and my foster parents are back, they will keep reminding me that I don't deserve love. But that's the only thing that I want in this world. After experiencing all these beatings and punishments for something I've never done was love. After minutes of just looking at my beautifully carved back, caressing my back and the cuts I made myself and letting some sinful tears run down my face while having a million thoughts, I went and change into something comfortable and could hide all my scars and bruises, especially my back. And let's say, even changing was painful to me. The cloth sliding down, making contact with my back and having to move my sore back was painful.

(Ignore the sunglasses)
I went down and saw my foster parents sitting at the dining table, drinking coffee while reading newspaper. Once I set my foot on the floor, they turned their head towards my direction. Once they saw it's me, they glare at me.

"G-good morning Mrs.Natalie and Mr.Andrew......" I greeted them while looking at the floor.

"Ugh it's you," Mrs.Natalie said and I could feel the feeling of frustration and disgusted by her tone. I knew they were expecting my brother and not me since he's their favorite child.

I ignore the feeling and Mrs.Natalie and went to the kitchen and cooked breakfast for my brother since they already ate. I went and on the fire and took out a pan and put it on top of the gas stove. I poured some oil on top of the heated pan and waited for a while so the pan is hot and ready to cook. When I felt that the pan was hot enough, I felt a presence behind me and next thing I know was my hand on the pan, making contact with the hot pan and pain radiating through my hand. I accidentally let out a scream, which earns me a slap from Mrs.Natalie.

"Better shut the fuck up before you get worst punishment, " Mrs.Natalie said, pushing my hand harder towards the heated pan and I could feel her nails digging into my arm while her grip tightened. The pain was so fucking unbearable, it was so hot that I could feel my palm melting. But that's not all. She even poured some oil on top to make it worse. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to scream out. Soon Mrs.Natalie release her grip on my hand and left while laughing evilly. I quickly went to the sink and wash my bloody and swollen hand. Once the cold water made contact with my swollen red hand, I screamed quietly. Its worse than any beatings I felt and it was as if someone is burning my hand with strong fire. The pain went through my whole body, it felt like my body is burning and I had to bite down on my lips so that I wouldn't make any noise. Once I felt the pain was decreasing, I quickly cook some food using just a hand which took me a longer time than usual. I did not bandage my hand nor did anything and quickly ran out. While I'm walking to school I felt something wet on m lips. I used my thumb to rub my lips and saw it was blood. Guess I bit my lips a little bit too hard just now while I was washing my swollen hand. 'Do I have to suffer all the pain by myself? Not once did anybody came and help me. Not even when I was beaten in the hallway, not even when I was beaten by my foster parents. Jin oppa was the only one who came and helps me and be my friend but I don't want to be a burden to Jin Oppa...... ' I thought sadly. I could still feel my hand throbbing but i ignore it and continued walking to school.