Bashing Brains - Ellis X Reader

11

It was like a dream, a fazed reality, a nightmare. I felt horrible, constantly. Losing Coach to those... murderers. Leaving Rochelle behind, and taking twenty by force. Killed a man because he was smug, watched hundreds die. Watch someone that hurt me die with little regret.

Was I turning into a bad person? No, impossible, I did it to save these people. Those people that died were doomed to anyways. Right? They had zero team efforts, but they also had no weapons. The flashback of a man's hand with a lock of my hair in a braid appeared in my head. Just wasn't letting myself sleep, inside this crappy bus we stole.

We stole it cause we had to! It didn't help we all rested to the sounds of a horde outside, wasn't enough to make us paranoid. It was enough to keep myself up, and I couldn't sleep. Maybe if I use a machete to kill more of them so I can sleep? I sit up from laying on top of Ellis, seeing him still asleep. I wouldn't want to wake him as he was the only person that  how to drive a big truck through small gaps.

Holding onto the weapon, I open up a window slightly, not enough for a body, just a hand. I started bludging them in the heads to make them collapse by the window and more took it's place. Soon enough only one was left and I finished it off with the now dull blade. Great, I just murdered like forty of them and I had nothing to do. Did I want to do something?

My body tired, but my mind running wild I fall into the seat on the other side's of Ellis. Would it be weird if I watched him sleep? Guess it's too late for that answer as I was having my eyes scan his body. Not sexually, just... a relaxing hypnotizing feeling. Watching someone breathe, parting his lips slightly with a soft snore. I sighed, setting the machete down on the floor with a soft click on the metal. Just the sounds of the living and no undead clawing to get in. If of course there was the occasional special infected but we were too quiet for them to stay long to try and try like a little kid get a vending machine full of candies while having no money.

Nick woke up, but he looked at me instantly as soon as he sat up. "Can't sleep?" He was muffled to himself. I nodded, and just chilled with him. "I can't either... is it Coach? Or Rochelle?"

"Both," I sighed.

"Yeah, I feel bad... which takes a lot cause I don't feel that type of crap." He chuckled, but turned sadden. Guess I wasn't as crappy as the asshole himself. He felt bad too, which I suppose anyone would. "But... how would you feel if you actually had a baby?" Nick stood up, sitting down next to me as I looked at him confused. "You talked about it, and clearly it'll be you n' Ellis making the kids."

"Well... I can't even imagine myself making a kid in this world."

"And I can't imagine that the last time I kissed a girl was when she was turning into a zombie." Nick smiled fondly like it was a joyful memory of his. "Listen kid," he got back to the conversation, "there's no way we can move forward without killing all these zombies, or reproducing."

"But it's like... if I raise a kid, what are the chances that it'll be alive when they reach five?" I looked at him. "I can't carry a kid in here woefully unprepared for zombies trying to get the both of us."

"But it's you, him, myself, and all these other guys to help you." Nick gestured to everyone. "Think of it like this, you won't get your heavy flow for how many kids you want." He nudged me as I laughed, he then went back to where he was laying down. "Well, I tried talking. Time for sleep." Nick laid down. "Thanks for killin' those guys, they drove me nuts." He smiled before drifting off.

Feeling better on the 'conversation', I focused on something else then Coach and Rochelle.

A baby, with Ellis... yeah, we were both so immature, but it's not like we're gonna change.