Tonight,
I cut myself again.
After a week.
I made it that long and gave up...
I don't know what's going on with me anymore.
No matter what people tell me,
I still hate myself.
Even after all the support.
I hardly slept.
I felt my arm burning.
I didn't want to go to school.
Not even out of my bed.
Usually I always want to go...
Today, was just like any other day.
I spent it comparing myself.
Today I looked at Laurie,
I realized how much she's changed.
Now she's more social and of course prettier.
Maybe not extremely prettier, but prettier than me.
When I think of it, I get this feeling.
It's kind of unexplainable.
A feeling of sadness, anger, regrets and jealousy.
THATS ENOUGH ANNE STOP IT.
I pressed my nails into my skin.
Breathe Anne breathe....
Stop making it bother you...
I ate lunch, regretting every bite.
I'm ashamed to eat, people are probably thinking "oh that's why she's fat, because she eats like a pig."
I need to eat though,
Last year I was trying to starve myself.
Of course my mom found out and my friends kept telling me to eat.
That night I went home, as usual of course.
"Hey Mom"
"Oh hey sweetie! How are you?"
"I'm good"
Lie
"That's good, lets get ready for diner."
I honestly didn't want to eat,
I felt like I shouldn't.
I went in front of a mirror.
Anne you look fine! Look you have effin boobs, you know how many girls want some? And you are y'all, your hair is good....
You are okay, you look fine.
I ate,
Of course diner was quiet.
Well I was quiet, Taylor was complaining about his life.
I always feel useless when I talk,
because when I do it doesn't interest anyone.
"Anne I'm going to get groceries with Taylor and do a few other things, are you okay by yourself for a few hours?"
"Yes I'll be fine"
I'm used to being alone anyways.
While Mom was gone, I lost it again.
I did a few cuts and I didn't know what was happening to me...
I cried and rolled into a ball under my sheets...
Anne...Get yourself together...
Take deep breathes....
I dialled the kids help line again,
I talked with a different lady for about an hour.
It did feel good to talk about things,
But it won't solve my problems.
When Mom got home she didn't really ask me too much, I just said goodnight.
Even if I can hardly sleep sometimes....
YOU ARE READING
Fml
Teen Fiction"Are you ok?" "What's wrong?" "Are you sad?" "Everything will be okay". Honestly, I'm not okay, what's wrong? Everything! And why am I sad? Because I can't handle anything anymore and NOTHING will be okay. I don't know why I always need to lie to ev...
