Growth | z.m.

Chapter 32

A/N: HIIII BABIES! So much has happened!

I have a boyfriend now WOOHOO

My birthday just passed

New music has been coming out and that as been very exciting.

I went to a Pentatonix concert OMG (it was the best concert I've ever been to and that includes 1D sorry)

I've been hanging out with my friend who is visiting from Hungary and all of my old friends and I feel so great.

Also I've been trying to lose weight because I want to get a breast reduction and I've gained like 15 lbs and I know they're just gonna tell me to lose weight but I'm really struggling.

I've had like, no time, to do anything Wattpad related and I'm so sorry! Who knew I'd actually have a life this summer! Not me, that's for sure. I didn't mean to give false hope that an update would come sooner than it has. I'm really sorry if it sucks, and that it's short. Honestly I feel like I'm losing my skills because during the school year I write papers all the time and yeahh

Eve's POV

The funeral.

One of the most sorrowful days of my life.

The difference between the day of the miscarriage and this day is the amount of support I was given everywhere I went. Friends and family showered us with love, cards, casseroles, flowers, and hugs. Fans surrounded the perimeter of the graveyard with their tokens of condolences.

In a way, all of the love that was given to us made me even more upset. It's like when you're crying and someone asks if you're okay, you cry harder. Even though you appreciate the concern, you wish they hadn't said anything.

I wore dark sunglasses to cover the state I was in even though I knew I wasn't fooling anybody.

Amelia Luna's casket was only a small little thing. It killed me. Caskets should be used after a person has grown, grown and grown so much they start to shrink a bit and there my underdeveloped baby laid in that tiny casket. That alone tore my heart apart. I wouldn't have been able to even stand if my beautiful son and husband were not there to catch me if I fell.

When the time came for me to speak, I forced myself to get up to the front. My feet kind of went slower than the rest of my body. All eyes were on me, so it seemed. When I actually looked at the people in front of me, I could see that their heads were hanging low.

I looked at Danielle, whose baby bump looked like it was about to burst. She had massive dark sunglasses on as she cried on Liam's shoulder. Liam's entire face was swollen from crying so much.Next to him was Rita who looked a right mess as well.

Harry, Louis and Eleanor, and Niall all sat in the row behind them. Harry dabbed his face with an obscure hanker chief probably purchased in a thrift shop or a quirky market in a random country while Louis and Niall wiped their tears away with their sleeves. Eleanor could be heard sobbing from there, her hands covering her face as she cried.

In the front row was our family. Tricia, Doniya, Waliyah, and Safaa were all wearing massive sunglasses as they grieved, Yaser trying his absolute best to keep it together. On the side sat Zayn and Aiden who were both just as upset as I was. Aiden cried like he had broken a bone. He was so upset that he was completely quiet for a bit until he saw the baby in the casket and realized what was happening again.

I took a shaky breath and did my absolute best to speak up. I knew it was the only way to get closure, so I did it for my family, for my friends, for my husband, my son, and myself.

"When I found out I was pregnant with Aiden, I was very young. I was ripped away from everything I knew and Liam took me in, the boys all took me in. I didn't know what I wanted in life, but I knew I wanted the very best for my child. That's what every mother wants. Zayn was the one who gave him that, and I was so grateful to him for it. We waited to start trying for another one until we got married. Correction, I made him wait until we got married. When I found out I was pregnant we were overjoyed. I was hoping for a girl to be honest but I was happy with anything, really. There was a day that Zayn and I were fighting for no reason. We slept in separate rooms that night. And when I woke up, the bed was covered in blood and I had lost the baby. I share all of that because I just wish I didn't have to wake up alone. I can't think of anything worse, honestly. She didn't even get to look into her daddy's beautiful eyes or pull on her brother's beautiful hair. She didn't get to meet her lovely aunties and uncles, or her incredible grandparents. Amelia Luna Malik will forever be in my heart. I will see her in a beautiful sunset or a beautiful storm. She has taught me to remember what I've lost, but never forget what I already have. Zayn and Aiden, my boys, thank you for being little patches of sunlight during a dark time. I'd like to say thanks to all of you for being here and being supportive of us. We would be nothing without loved ones."

I returned back to Zayn and Aiden when I was finished saying what I had to say, letting out a slightly less shaky breath as I sat down. Both of my boys gave me tight hugs. I didn't feel any better, but that was besides the point. I was still upset, but I wouldn't have to regret not speaking at my daughter's funeral in the future.

It was very sureal, very upsetting, very unfair. I had to keep on telling myself that life happens and we have to accept the things life throws at us.

So that's what I did.

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