Risk it for the biscuit || Roadtrip

Chapter 76

Here's a very cringy chapter - I actually cried while writing it, oops. I was also stuck with it for a while & the video above gave me motivation so shoutout to person who made it. (If you want to, play it while reading, it gives you this sad/romantic mood)

As the clouds covered the sky, creating the darkness around the town, Belle was heading to the nearest park, emotions bombarding her head. She was walking unusually slowly, almost robotically, as if her brain was struggling to tell each foot to take the next step. She tried to think of anything other than Ryan, telling her mind to focus on the gentle footsteps that seemed to echo throughout the desolate pavement.

However, the boy was the main and only thing traveling around her head. It was almost impossible for her not to think about him. His touch. His smile. His voice. Everything that she missed so much, even though it was never fully hers.

Suddenly, without her notice, a single tear slid down from her warm, ocean blue eyes. It was followed by another one, and another one, until soon, a steady stream of salty tears flowed it's way down her pale cheek, releasing the sadness that has been held inside her for too long. She hated not being close to Rye. She missed his hugs, his kisses, his laughs. Everything and everyone reminded her of him.

She loved him. Truly and unconditionally, almost painfully. Her heart was nearly screaming at her with human voice - she needed him. Needed for support, for protection. For survival. If she wasn't sure what real love felt like before , now she knew it was exactly how she was feeling now. Unfortunately no one told her about the pain that comes with it...

She sat on the nearest bench, knowing she won't be able to control her tears that now blurred out her vision. She had to leave the flat, knowing she would burst out crying. There was too much of a lie to hold on to. Rye just revealed his feelings to her; when she waited ages for him to do that. She waited for a sign, a simple I love you; I care about you. Anything. For months he has never suggested that he loved her like she loved him. And now, when she was ready to leave and deal with her heartbreak, he messed with her emotions once again. And almost to deepen her pain, he used 'really like'. Never love. Almost as if she wasn't good enough for him to love her. She was only his 'really like'.

At that point she closed her eyes, not bothered to wipe her tears anymore. She leaned over, covering her face with her hands and then gripping her hair, needing any type of displacement of her feelings. She hold too much within her; she had to let go.

And then; almost to completely break her, Rye's mother came up to her mind. And the conversation they had before she left - about the moving out plans - plans that were no longer hers.
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At the same time Rye was breathing heavily; his feet running quickly to a place that first came up to his head. It was his unconscious mind, his instinct telling him that he would find her there. In the park. The park where so many things has happened - where she mentioned her dad; where they told eachother how they really felt, even though under the cover of satisfying older couple. This park was the beginning and he felt it had to be the ending place too. Walking around in darkness with no one alive within his eyesight, the hope was slowly leaving his body. He lost her. For the last time. Lost her forever.

As soon as he was meant to reverse and come back home, he saw a silhouette of a person. Not being able to recognise if it was the girl he was looking for, he came closer. With his every step, the image got clearer and after couple of minutes he was sure he found her. She didn't see him, her head pointed on the other side, her eyes releasing hundreds of tears, one by one.

She cried because of him. Again.

A sudden momentum stopped his actions, making him freeze in place. He caused so much pain in her life. He was the reason of all her problems. His egoism, pride and lack of confidence to reveal his feelings nearly broke her life completely. Did he deserve to try and repair it?