The Phan in Our Stars

Part Three

"Thank God he's gone!!" Rosie exclaimed, letting go of Phil's arm and grabbing his waist instead, "Now we can have some privacy." She pulled him in, pressing her soft, tan skin into his pale, thin form. She kissed him firmly but lovingly on the lips, causing color to rise in his face, but Phil was too distracted to kiss Rosie.

Phil supposed, in reality, that it was Rosie who was the distraction. He felt bad, like he was using her to ignore his feelings for Dan. But, he told himself, it wasn't all lies. He did like her, but it was nowhere near the intense feelings he had developed for Dan. Yes, Rosie was great: she understood exactly what he was going through from the physical pain to the emotional damage, but Dan understood more than just his cancer, Dan understood him. He understood YouTube and his obsession with anime and all his far-fetched ideas and crazy personality. Rosie had been there when he needed her, but Dan had been there when he didn't even realize he needed him. But the way he had acted the other day made him think...

No, Phil knew in his heart that Dan hadn't meant what he had said. He also knew that Dan was sorry, he just wished he would apologize for it already. Dan had just been freaked out by finding a girl in their home when he'd been away for a few days. Freaked out and a little jealous. And that was what confused him the most. Why was Dan jealous of a girl he found in Phil's bed? It would've made since for Dan to be jealous if he'd come home to Phil playing MarioKart and eating pancakes with a stranger but this was different. Could it possibly be that Dan returned his feelings? He'd written that off until now: there had to be a different explanation. But now, what had just happened? Dan had gotten angry, no, jealous, and had stormed out of the room right when he thought Phil and Rosie were going to... Oh god. Had Phil been so wrapped up in denying his own feelings for Dan that he didn't realize that Dan had fallen for him too?

"Phil," Rosie noticed his distraction, "are you okay?"

"Fine," Phil mumbled. He was confused. The more he thought about it, the more obvious it seemed, and yet, the more confused he was.

"Phil, what's wrong?" Rosie asked, tugging at his shirt and pouting her lip.

"Nothing, just... I think you should go." Phil said, returning his attention to reality.

"Go?" Rosie was confused, "But we just got the place to ourselves!"

"I'm not really feeling well all of a sudden," Phil lied, "Really tired."

Rosie looked concerned. "Oh, Philip, poor thing!" She said, "Okay, I'll go,but you go lie down until Dan gets back! Promise?"

"Yeah." Phil said as she grabbed her bag off the table.

"Call me," she said when she reached the door.

"I will," Phil promised, although the wasn't sure it was a promise he could keep.

* * *

Dan had been walking for quite a while. His feet were tired and achy and so was the rest of him. He checked his phone. 22:47. It had been long over an hour since Dan left the flat: he supposed that Phil and Rosie would be finished doing whatever they were doing by the time he got back, even if he turned around now. But she had begun staying later and later, and Dan didn't want to see her, so, just to be sure, he decided to wait a while longer.

Dan was lost. He remembered where he had come from, so he was pretty sure he knew how to get back, but he had no idea where he was headed. He wasn't used to living in this area. Finally he decided to look for a place to sit down and rest his feet for a while. Then maybe he would take a train back, or at least to a place where he would know where he was.

After a few more minutes of aimless wandering, Dan found a run-down looking pub. There was a name on the sign, but Dan couldn't make out the faded black letters in the dark. He went in and sat at the bar. He didn't really have a choice. The place was so small the only indoor seating was at the small, wooden bar cluttered with glasses and bottles. The small room was smoky and stuffy and Dan could tell it was pretty run down. There were only a handful of other people there and they all looked like they'd seen their share of hardships... Or drug abuse, one or the other. No one noticed him at first, but after about ten minutes a green-haired girl wearing a halter top and a mini skirt shorter than the queen was royal walked up to him.

"Never seen you around before," she said in an American accent, shrugging one of her bra straps off of her shoulder in a way that was skanky, trashy, and a little sexy.

"I don't come around here much," Dan said, leaning against the bar, acting casual.

"Doesn't look like it," she was smoking something which looked very suspicious-- definitely not a cigarette, which was making Dan's head cloudy. "What's your name?"

"Uh, Dan."

"Cute," she said. On top of being high off of whatever she was smoking, she seemed intoxicated, slurring her words and stumbling. Although that might have just been due to the size of her heels. "Actually, I think you're cute," she stuttered.

"That's very... Nice."

"How about this," she suggested, "you come back to my place and I'll show you a grand old time."

"Your place?" Dan asked, cautiously.

"Yeah, in the back," she said, leaning up against the bar, "I haven't had fresh meat in a while. Kind of getting bored of the same old stuff. And I mean old," she gestured to a group of middle aged men toward the back of the bar.

Dan stood up, "You know what? I'm really late, I gotta go,"

"Awe no!" She flung herself onto him, "But I like you!! I don't want you to leave! And I bet my friends will like you too. They're all eager for someone new to come around."

Friends? Naturally it was Dan's luck to accidentally stumble into a bar that was a front for a prostitution ring. "Um sorry," he said, "not interested."

"Oh?" She said, looking him over. Finally she stopped and said, "Oooooohhh! I get it!"

"You do?"

"Yes, but don't worry! No hard feelings!" She laughed.

"Really?" Dan asked, confused.

"Of course not, you can't help it! But hey we've got a little somethin for you anyway, even if you're not interested in, well, me-ee." She winked.

"What?"

"Over there, I bet that model is more your style ride, am I right?" She asked, gesturing to a nearly naked man in what had once been makeup but was now no more than random black and green lines on his face.

"Oh," Dan said, understanding. "No see, I'm not.. I'm not gay!"

The moment denied it was the moment in which he believed it the most.

"Sorry?" The girl asked.

"I, um, I am gay." he said.

"See there! I knew it! Now, let me just introduce to you Charlie. You'll love him I know it.."

"No, um, I, um.. I have a boyfriend." Dan said, improvising.

The girl stared at him for a moment and then laughed. "They all have boyfriends, darling. I have a boyfriend for crying out loud!"

"Yes, but I've just... I've gotta go." Dan turned on his heels and ran out of the pub at full speed.

"Wait! What are you--"

"Sorry!" Dan called back, but he didn't turn, he just kept running home, to Phil.