The Phan in Our Stars

Part Two

Dan woke to the sun streaming in the window into his eyes. "Mmmmm," he groaned, rolling over to face the wall. He felt his phone next to him under the blankets. Forgot to plug it in again. Great. He reached beneath the covers and grabbed it. He plugged it in and checked the time. Only 11:15; not bad. 

"Oh shit!" 

Seven missed calls from Martyn. 

Seven.

"Shit, shit, shit," Dan's entire body seemed to go numb as he called Phil's brother back. "Please, please be okay," Dan whispered to himslf as the phone rang, "Please, please, please, plea--"

"Dan--"

"Is he okay? God, please tell me he's--"

"Get here now."

Dan felt his heart drop. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't feel. He couldn't think. "Please tell me he's not--"

"He's alive," relief flooded over Dan's body at the words, "But, Dan, please, get here now."

Martyn was waiting for Dan outside of the hospital, which worried him a little. 

"How is he?" 

"He's fine." Martyn's tone was odd. It sounded sincere and maybe even a slightly relieved, but also nervous and a little uneasy.

"Please," Dan pleaded, confused "Please, what's going on?"

Martyn took a deep breath and said, his voice slightly shakey, "Phil is ... going to be okay." 

"I don't understand."

"Last night, only a little while after you left, things got-- complicated."

"Complicated?" Dan asked, his palms sweating.

"I don't really know, we weren't allowed in the room, but, things got really bad. He was in a lot of pain. It was starting to spread up his leg I guess and-- Dan," he stopped talking for a minute and let out a long sigh, "Why don't you sit down?" he said, leading Dan over to a bench and sitting down next to him. The crisp London air kept Dan alert. It reminded him that he was alive, that he was feeling; prevented him from going numb. 

"What happened?" he asked.

"As of 2:27 this morning," Martyn's voice shook a little, "Phil is in complete remission." 

"That's impossible!" Dan said, overcome with shock, "I mean.. I... I want it to be true, but, how? How can it just be gone, just like that, without--" Dan's eyes widened as understanding began to sink in. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, how is it gone? How? How did they get rid of it? How?" Dan felt his body getting heavy. He should've been here; he should not have gone home. 

"There was nothing else they could do, it was spreading too quickly." Martyn explained, "The tried everything else, but, they had to-" he took another deep, long breath, "They had to amputate his leg."

"Fuck." Dan didn't want to cry, but he couldn't stop himself. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

"Hey," Martyn said, a little awkwarly, trying, a little awkwardly, to comfort the bawling Dan, "It's going to be alright."

"No!" Dan shot back, "No, this is all my fault, I shouldn't have--"

"No, actually, it's really good that you took him to the Anne Frank House!" Martyn said.

"How? He could've die, he almost--"

"I overheard one of the doctors saying that if he hadn't collapsed, if he'd been in bed, they might not have caught it in time. If he hadn't been in the hospital anyway, they might not have been able to save him." 

"I can't believe they, I mean, I can;t believe it's--"

"It's a small price to pay really." Martyn said, shooting Dan a weak smile. Dan could tell that he was sad too, but desperately trying to hide it. 

"Complete remission?" Dan asked.

"That's right," Martyn replied, really smiling now, "No more cancer."

"But he could relapse though, right?"

"It's possible, I guess, but highly unlikely, especially since they amputated his leg." Martyn smiled at Dan, "It's going to get better now," he promised. 

"Can I see him?" Dan asked, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Yeah," Martyn said, standing and helping Dan to his feet, "Tomorrow. They moved him to a different room so you'll be allowed in, but they want him to take a day of recovery."

"I want to see him," Dan said.

"You will." Martyn reassurred him, "Every day. He's not going anywhere now." 

For the first time in a long time, Dan felt true relief. Because Martyn was right. Phil wasn't going anywhere. Except home.