The Phan in Our Stars

Part Four

Dan burst through the door of the house. "PHIL?!" He shouted before realizing that his best friend was sitting on the sofa in the lounge... alone, and looking a little worried. He looked so cute sitting there. He'd taken his contacts out and his black-rimmed glasses were perched on his nose. Dan felt his heart rate increase: Phil was so sexy with glasses on. He was exhausted from running for so long, but he decided to use the adrenaline to his advantage.

"Phil!" He said, taking his jacket off and bounding for the couch next to his best friend.

"Dan, you're home!" Phil exclaimed. He seemed genuinely happy to see him, which surprised Dan a little considering their recent fight, "I'm really glad you're back!"

"You are?" Dan asked, confused now. Why was Phil suddenly so happy to see him... and why was he alone? "Hey where's Rosie?"

"Oh she went home right after you did," Phil said.

"Home? Really?"

"Yeah, I was, erm, tired," Phil said, a little awkwardly.

"Are you okay?" Dan plopped down next to Phil, "God, I've been such a shit friend lately I haven't even asked about how you were feeling! Are you okay?" Suddenly, he felt horrible about everything that had happened the past couple of weeks.

"I'm fine," Phil said, "I'm great, actually. I--"

"I'm so sorry," Dan said, "about everything. I just--"

"Please don't apologize. I know," Phil said, "And I'm sorry too. About Rosie."

"No, don't apologize for that!" Dan pleaded, "It was all me, I shouldn't have gotten mad at you about something so stupid--"

"But, Dan, listen, there's something I need to talk to you about." Phil's heart did a little flip in his chest.

"I need to talk to you too," Dan said. "But, uh, you go first."

"Um, okay. I don't know how you're going to feel about this, but," Phil looked into Dan's deep brown eyes. What if he didn't return his feelings? What if he got freaked out? What if he wanted to leave? Would he be stuck with Rosie? The thought of permanently replacing Dan with her was the worst thing Phil could imagine.

"What's wrong, Phil?" Dan asked, scooting closer, "Are you alright?" Dan's heart was pounding in his chest, partially from anticipation of what Phil had to say, and partially in fear of how Phil would react to what he had to say.

"Fine," Phil said, collecting himself, "Okay, Dan, we really need to talk about something. I think we've needed to talk about this for a while, but... I think it's time."

Dan ruffled his eyebrows, confused, "What?"

"Dan, I-- um," Damn, he was rubbish at this, "Dan you're the best friend I've ever had. Ever."

Shit. Dan thought: a friend speech. This was the last thing he needed.

Phil looked down at his hands and said, "When I went in for my first appointments for my leg, my PET, the diagnosis, my specialist, you didn't know I had cancer yet." Phil took a deep breath, then continued, "I was so afraid. I was scared. Scared to death. And everyday all I could think about was how much I wished I could tell you, because I knew you would make me feel better.. You'd make me feel.. stronger."

Dan's heart raced.

"You always make me feel stronger, Dan." Phil said, looking up and back into Dan's eyes, "You make me feel important and special and," he smiled a little, "amazing."

Dan laughed a little, a blush rising I'm his face.

"You've always been there for me, and recently, well, you've kept me going. Always watching out for me, making sure I eat and sleep and don't hurt myself... But even before all this mess started, I began to notice that.." Phil gulped. He glanced back down at his hands but willed himself to look Dan in the eyes. He was going to do this right. "I began to notice that my life was so much better with you around. I began to really appreciate how happy you make me."