The Phan in Our Stars

III

Phil sat alone in a corner of his compartment: he'd been on the tube for nearly 45 minutes, since Waterloo station. He'd been out filming a project for PJ all afternoon and he'd had loads of fun,but he was tired now and losing energy fast. As he drew nearer and nearer to his stop, he felt himself start to drift off so he grabbed the handrail and pulled himself to his feet. As he stood, a sharp pain shot through his leg, from his knee to his foot. He flinched slightly, but suppressed the feeling. He wasn't going to give in to the pain that easily. Not again.

Although he wouldn't admit it, the whole "psychological pain" incident had been pretty humiliating. It was bad enough that Dan had to see him crying and carrying on in the first place, but the fact that it had all been in his head was almost too much to bear. He'd literally dreamt the entire thing. He could kick himself for pulling a stunt like that.

Stonebridge Park? That's pretty close, Phil thought to himself, You can handle that. He clung to the rail, putting as much wait as possible on it for support. As the pain in his leg slowly began to subside, he thought some more about his episode. Dr. Morris had said that they were stress-induced... Phil sighed out loud. Maybe cancer was affecting him more than he was admitting, even to himself. He was glad, he decided, that Dan had volunteered to take over planning their mini-vacation. He needed to take it easy for a few days.

The train skidded to an abrupt halt in Wembley Central a few minutes later. Phil climbed out of the car as quickly as he could, stumbling a little as he went. His limp was starting to get worse, making it difficult for him to walk. He stumbled along far behind the mob of people flooding toward the stairs.

Stairs.

Stairs had recently become Phil's nemesis, but he took a deep breath and began his slow trek up the stairs. He took them one at a time, pausing only twice on the way up. By the time he reached the top, his leg was throbbing and he was breathing heavily. He felt like he might pass out, so he leaned on the rail for support.

After a few moments, Phil caught his breath and began the walk home. The flat was only a few blocks from Wembley Central and it was fairly flat. He could handle that. He walked home as fast as he could manage. He was anxious to sit down.

When he got to the house, Phil burst through the door calling, "Dan, I'm home!"

There was no answer.

"Strange," Phil thought to himself. He checked Dan's room, but there was no sign of him. He walked across the house, peeking in rooms as he went, and knocked on the bathroom door.

"You in there, Dan?" he asked, but there was still no reply. Confused, he retreated to the study to grab his computer, but, when he opened the door he found Dan sitting at the desk, apparently deeply concentrated on whatever he was doing on the computer.

"There you are!" Phil said, a little annoyed, and startling Dan who jumped a little.

"Have you been looking for me?" Dan asked, distracted, spinning his chair around to face Phil.

"I've only been shouting your name for the past five minutes!" Phil said, plopping himself down on the futon across from Dan.

"How was filming?" Dan questioned.

"Weird," Phil laughed, "PJ cast me as a nun in his short film so I had to wear a dress."

"Wish I could've seen that!" Dan laughed, getting up out of his desk chair and joining Phil on the futon,

"I'm glad you didn't," Phil said, "it didn't suit me very well," he giggled.

"I'm sure you were the prettiest nun there's ever been," Dan said with a wide smile.

"He made me wear fake boobs, Dan," Phil said, trying not to smile. "I had boobs."

Dan exploded with laughter, "Well, now I definitely can't wait to see this video," he wheezed through fits of laughter, envisioning Phil as a transgendered nun.

"It was pretty funny, I guess," Phil admitted, emitting a small giggle, "So what have you been up to while I was gone?"

"Awesome stuff," Dan said, grinning ear to ear.

"Thanks for the specifics babe," Phil teased, gently slapping Dan on the leg.

Dan smiled widely, "Well, I was going to wait and tell you in some special, romantic way, but I really can't resist," Dan said.

"What are you talking about?" Phil ruffled his eyebrows.

"Our holiday!" Dan said, giving Phil a gentle shove.

"Ohh!" Phil exclaimed, giving Dan a surprised look, "You've got it sorted already?"

"Oh, I've got it sorted alright!" Dan smirked, "And let me tell you what, this is going to be the best holiday ever."

"Well??"

"Oh, I can't tell you that easily!" Dan teased.

"Please?" Phil asked, pouting his lips slightly.

"Nope! Sorry!" Dan said, shaking his head playfully.

Phil exaggeratedly pouted his lips and shot Dan a hurt look, "Pretty please?" he asked in a quiet, high pitched voice.

"Why are you so adorable?" Dan asked, laughing, "Okay, fine, you win. I can't say no to that face."

"Yay!" Phil said, turning to face Dan,"I'm excited!" he said with a goofy smile.

"Me too," Dan said dramatically, "because you and I are going to be spending three days in the one and only,beautiful, wonderful, fabulous, city of love."

"PARIS?" Phil asked, shocked, "We're going to Paris?"

"Not just Paris," Dan's smile widened, "You and I, my good sir, will be staying in the penthouse suite," he over-stressed the word 'penthouse', "of the ever famous Marriott on the Champs Élysées!" Dan looked at Phil anxiously, waiting for his reaction, but Phil couldn't move. He was in utter and complete shock.

Finally,his mouth dropped open and he managed,"Dan, I-- wow, I just--" before finally, giving up on forming words altogether, grabbed Dan and kissed him with every ounce of strength in his body.

"Woah there!" Dan laughed, "I'll assume that you're okay with this destination, then?"

"Okay with this-- DAN!" Phil exclaimed, "I mean, I thought we'd be going to the countryside or something or maybe Scotland or something but-- Dan!"

"Why do you keep saying my name like that?" Dan laughed.

"Because you're just so.. So.. Dan," Phil laughed, lacking a word beautiful enough to describe the way he was feeling for his boyfriend in that moment, "you're just so," he took Dan's hands in his own, "perfect."

"Well that's a bit of an exagg--"

"No!" Phil shushed him, "Sh! You're perfect. Shut up."

"Make me," Dan joked, leaning in a little.

"Daniel!" Phil laughed, pecking his lips. He sighed, incapable of wiping the childish smile off of his face, "God, I can't believe it. Paris."

"The city of love," Dan joked, shooting Phil an exaggerated wink.

"Oh my god, Dan! You've never been!" Phil said, suddenly remembering.

"Nope," Dan said, "but I'm glad."

Phil ruffled his eyebrows, "You are?"

"Yeah," Dan replied, "There's no one I would rather experience it for the first time with."

Phil felt a deep blush come over him. "Dan, I--" but he was at a loss for words. He laid his head gently on Dan's shoulder. "This is going to be the best holiday ever."

Dan wrapped his arm around Phil, holding him close and, planting a small kiss on his forehead, whispered, "Yes, I think you're right."