VIXEN

5.

Lorenzo.

I haven't slept all night. Everytime I closed my eyes, my mind drifted to Lorraine, then the more I craved for her. I wanted her to come back, but I didn't want to look desperate. I just laid in bed all morning. I did't have work today, so I told Lorraine to come over here.

It was 6:30 in the afternoon, and she still hasn't showed up. I tried testing and calling her, but she never answered. I didn't want to be a bother, so I stopped trying. I laid in bed and stared at the ceiling, I didn't know what to do.

I got dressed and decided to go down to the beach, just to get some fresh air. I don't do this often, but it was something different than smoking weed or just laying in my bed. I walked across the shore line, just staring into the deep blue ocean.

I walked up the steps to my apartment door. I was dissapointed because Lorraine never texted or called me back, and left me alone for the day. I just hope everything is alright.

I saw Lorraine sitting in front of my. door, with her knees brought into her chest. I stepped closer and it sounded like she was crying. She had blood running down her pants and her shirt was missing. I never said anything, I just unlocked the door and brought her inside.

I tried to lay her down, but she held onto me and wouldn't let go. So I stood and held her, like she was a baby. "What happened?" I spoke into her ear. She started to breathe heavily, and I realized she was asleep.

I laid her onto my bed, and went into the bathroom to run some bath water. I went back to my bedroom, and slowly started to undress her. I lifted her bloody and naked body to the bathroom, and sat her into the warm water. I grabbed a wash cloth and some body wash and started to wash all of the blood off.

I dried her off and dressed her into some of my clothes. I sat next to her and watched her sleep. I really wanted to know what happened, but I didn't want to wake her up, or question her. I stripped from my clothes and laid in bed next to her, not too close.

**

"What happened last night?" She asked me when she woke up. "I don't know. I went to the beach and when I came back, I found you sitting in front of my door with blood all over you."

"Oh..." She said looking down.

"Now what happened to you last night?" I asked I wanted to know why, "why were you covered in blood?"

She continued to look down and play with hem of my shirt she had on. "If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to." I said before standing. "No, don't leave."

I sat down next to her and stared at the cut she had on her cheek. "What happened?" I said placing my hand on her face. She moved her head away from my hand and looked at me. Her vividly green eyes, staring into my dull brown ones.

She moved her eyes down to my lips, staring at them. "You smoke weed, don't you?"

"How'd you know?"

"Your lips are turning black."

"I know..." I said rubbing them.

She sat next to me and started to examine my arms again. "Why did you do it?"

"I already told you why." I said looking down at my arms, also. "I know but was caused all of it?"

"My family abandoned me, and I never had any friends. I am the true definition of a lonely, depressed sad man." I wanted to cry and become inseperable with a razor, but I couldn't. Not while shes here."Why?" She questioned again. "Nobody likes me." I mumbled under my breath.

"I like you." She said holding my hand."No you don't, nobody does."

"If I didn't like you, I wouldn't be sitting here trying to talk to you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't have came to you last night after I had got raped-" She said, but stopped once she realized what she had said.

"You what?" I asked not believing what she had just said. "Lorenzo, I don't want to talk about."

"Who raped you?" I asked standing up. "Nobody--"

"Nobody? Then who did it? Casper the fucking ghost?"

"Lorenzo please calm down."

"Not until you tell me who raped you." I said crossing my arms. "My boyfriend." She said looking at her legs. "Boyfriend? You have a boyfriend?"

"Yes, but--"

"Lorraine, I don't want to fucking hear it! Why didn't you tell me this when we first met?" I was getting angry because she had kept it from me all this time, I wish she would have told me this from the start. 

"I didn't think you would want me if you knew I had a boyfriend."

I could help but to feel damaged, another broken heart of mine, and my lost of hope of having someone next to me. "I think you need to go."

"Lorenzo I don't want to leave. If I leave I wont have anywhere to go." She pleaded. "Why don't you go home to your boyfriend?"

"I'm sorry--"

"Bye Lorraine." I said not wanting to hear her apologies. She grabbed her shoes and keys and then she left. I went to my bathroom making sure I had my razor. I really thought we could have something, but that was just another hope thrown out the window.

I cut deep, long and hard. I wanted the pain to go away. I wanted all of it go away. I cried until there was no more tears to cry. I really just needed someone, who wont keep things from me. I thought Lorraine could be that person, because she was very open to me, when we first talked, but you can't judge a book by it's cover, right?