I hate you I love you ( A BBRae fanfic)

Chapter 34 Truth or Truth?

A.N Hello! Enjoy this one! I just reread this chapter and realised the song Passionfruit by drake really matches this chapter....
Ravens POV

R: A likely story!
Beast boy: It's true!
R: I Hate You!
Beast boy: I love you.

H said in a wanting tone. I scowled at him.

R: How do I know if you're lying or not!
Beast boy: You're just gonna have to trust me! Like you used to! It's not fair that you trusted me on everything and you won't trust me now!
R: I... I can't! I cant trust you! What if you're just using me?!
Beast boy: Raven,

At this moment everything else was gone except for him and his voice. There was only him, and only me.

Beast boy: You're afraid. You're afraid I'll do what Malchior did. I need you to know I'm not Malchior. I'm Beast boy.

He stood there looking me in the eye. Tears started to flood down my face. I didn't even care that we were standing in the open hallway. he looked at my dusty face and the tears that cleaned it away. we waited in silence. Both waiting for me to answer.

R: I... Uh...

Beast boy: I'm sorry Raven. I'm sorry you saw it. I didn't want to kiss her.

R: ....

He looked me in the eye once more. I just looked down. Then the most unexpected thing happened. a single tear ran down his face. This stabbed me in the heart. I.. I cant deal with this!!!!

R: I cant stand this anymore!! I hate you and I hate myself!

I ran down the hall and went to the trophy room. Beast boy followed me. I picked up a knife and tried to end all misery. I fumbled with it though. Beast boy ran over to me so fast. Faster than I've ever seen him. I tried pressing the Knife to my wrist. He grabbed before I could though. His protective arms looped around my stomach and arms, stopping me from moving them. I wiggled around so much trying to get the knife into my skin. He wouldn't let it.

Beast boy: Raven! Stop!
R: Why do you care?! Whatever the reason, STOP! Stop caring about me! Stop caring about a demon! 
Beast boy: I'll never stop caring! As long as you're the girl I fell in love with many years ago I'll never stop caring! As long as you're Raven Roth, I love you!

He grabbed the knife and threw it out of the room. I collapsed to the ground. I was crying like a fool. He bent down and hugged me. I let the tears flood down my face. I felt so embarrassed and enraged, but however I missed him. His feel. When I calmed down he scooped me up in his arms. I sat on across his lap and hid my face on his shoulder. He stroked my back in a loving manner. He says he still loves me. Is this the truth or a lie? My head was to dizzy to think. I couldn't tell. What I could tell is that this is what he missed, what he wanted back. The way he held me and made me feel vulnerable. He made me think he cherished me. Just because of the way he'd tremble every now and then. I stood up in front of him and looked down to meet his eyes. They followed my body till they met up with mine. I thought real hard about this. This is everything. I slowly extended my hand down to him. He looked at it then used the same pace to grab my hand. It made my whole body shiver. I had to stop me from making that noise. He stood up and looked away a bit uncertain.

R: Time. I just need a bit of time to think about it.

He looked at me with a small smile, his ears drooping down.

Beast boy: That's enough for me.

He smiled. Then, we walked out going our own ways. Part of me was angry that I wanted him back. The other half of me was asking how I managed to get him back- sort of... I knocked on Stars door. She opened it with joy.

Starfire: It is glorious to see you!
R: It's glorious to see you to Starfire.

I said quietly.

R: I was wondering if you wanted to go to the mall with me.

A huge smile spread across her face.

Starfire: Yes friend Raven! I would love to!
R: Maybe we could bring Rek with us?
Starfire: Oh, that will not be possible. Friend Rek is out with Cyborg. She is doing the meeting with the Titans East.
R: Oh. That's okay. Do you want to go now?
Starfire: Yes! Just let me grab the money!

She dipped back into her room then came out in a flash. We made our way out of the tower. When doing so, passed Beast boy. We made eye contact. He just gave me a sympathetic smile and I returned it with pleasure. We swooshed out of the tower after that. *****************************************************************************

We were eating in the food court. I had fries and she had a Caesar salad with a chicken burger. Today I had no appetite.

R: Um, Star...

I scratched my head.

Starfire: Yes?

She said swallowing her food.

R: Can I ask you something that you won't tell anyone else? 
Starfire: Yes, of course friend Raven.
R: Pinky promise?
Starfire: Pinky promise.

We locked pinkies for a second.

R : Okay.... While I was angry at Beast boy, did you guys talk about me?

I asked embarrassed. She turned a little pale.

Starfire: Well... Yes.
R: What did you say?
Starfire: We asked the questions like "how come friend Raven is upset" and "Friend Beast boy! What have you done to upset dearest friend Raven?!"

She said embarrassedly.

R: And what did he say?
Starfire: Well, friend Beast boy mostly didn't do the speaking. He did the pouting.

My eyes became big and a little wet.

Starfire: What he said when he did the little talking was "I do not know why friend Raven is the upset with me. I wish she would do the socialising with me again." Or he would say "I do not do the understanding of her some times."

I wiped my eyes before a tear could escape.

R: Oh...okay. Thank you Starfire. I only ask because I'm wondering if I should be back with him again or not. I've already caused so much pain...

My voice cracked. Starfire rested her hand on mine.

Starfire: Friend Raven, I think you should do what your heart is saying. Somebody once told me that the boy I have the special butterflies for, most likely has them back for me. Now I am telling you that your special boy defiantly, has the butterflies for you.

She smiled at me. I smiled back. A sparkle in my eye. He likes me. Truth, or truth?

A.N Yeah! Has Rae Rae made up her mind? Okay, I feel overly enthusiastic. Sorry that it's a shorter one, it just felt right to end it there. Tell me what you think our girl should do! Love, Sinead.