He was a little out of breath... he looked at me and said 'I love you Ariana... I mean it and I felt it all night, before this happened. You are perfect in every way possible.. I... I can't believe you're real.' Tears were streaming down my face...
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"Now we're sleeping on the edge, holding something we don't need. All this delusion in our heads, is gonna bring us to our knees.
So come on, let it go. Just let it be. Why don't you be you? And I'll be me.
Everything that's broke... leave it to the breeze. Why don't you be you? And I'll be me.
And I'll be me." ~James Bay from "Let It Go"
Malcolm's Side:
Shit..... I don't even know where to start.
I guess I'll start at the beginning- with the night that Ari and I met.
We were in bed...... Ariana was staring into my eyes and I fell hopelessly in love with her. I remember thinking that if she wasn't my soulmate, then I don't know what the hell a soulmate could be. I also remember thinking that because our lives were so different, maybe we won't end up together... but I would love her until the end of time.
That's exactly how I feel today, 5 1/2 years later. She's my soulmate... not just my soulmate but even more rare... we're twin flame soulmates. I will love her for as long as I live.
But it doesn't automatically mean we have to be together as a couple. At least right at the moment.
Now you're like... well damn, weren't you kind of engaged and were gonna get married in August? Yeah, we almost did. Everything works out... or doesn't work out, for a reason.
I don't know what I want. Ok... maybe I do know what I want. Problem is, I don't think I'll be able to find it all in one person.
I love strong, intelligent women who have ambition and a desire to grab the world by it's balls. But I also would like to share my life with someone who can adapt to my schedule (preferably not a celebrity) so they can go on tour with me. I'm sure I could easily find someone to do that... but that would be her full time job. Nomi did that with me for a little while, but she got bored. She had a degree and she wanted to use it.
There's some down side that comes with dating a non-famous person.... like their family looking at you as their personal ATM. I went through it with Nomi's family, Ari went through it with Ricky's family. Like I said, what I want I probably can't find in one person.
When Richard Branson's office called about us using Necker Island to get married, I never in a hundred years thought Ari would say yes. I asked her about it assuming she'd say no... then I'd see if we could get the island that week and go with our friends, for a pre-tour vacay. But then I got excited too. I thought that maybe marriage would be the best thing for us as we head into our new albums and tours. It would deepen our commitment and maybe make our labels and her management be a little more realistic when it came to our schedules. Then she got the call about starring on Broadway in Wicked.
