The last few weeks have been a blur of meaningless apologies and studying. I don't know whether I should forgive him... or if he'll just hurt me again, this is the second time...? I'm just confused... I honestly don't know how to feel anymore. "Jem, I'm really sorry you didn't make the space program, I can still text you from up there?" 'waIT HE MADE IT?!?!' "No, I made it." "but your mom...?" "she lied >=C" "Then see you there at two?" "yep" 'I... forgot? How did I...?' I still haven't stopped cutting.... I probably should but- I honestly don't deserve to. I'm so pathetic I let it get to me when my only friend left- key words: only friend, because he's the only one stupid enough to hang around my depressed pathetic self.
Today is the day we move to the basic training base, because as you already know, you can't just send kids to space fresh out of high school. I'm actually pretty worried, six months of training for three to five hours a day- but that's not even the scary part. The scary part is: once you're in space, they have a system to make it basically a college, so I'm worried I might feel more at home there than I do here... but is that even a bad thing? I can't tell anymore.
YOU ARE READING
hamilton fluff (pretty much just jeffmads fluff =3)
Fantasyso, don't judge too hard, keep in mind I am a kid that just ships things also, random thing, I'm a demi-biromantic so that maybe mentioned, aside from that it'll mostly be just lots of gay stuff so suck it up and enjoy. (Also I reeeeffffffuuuuuuuse...
