Summer [Completed]

Chapter Twenty-Eight

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Ruin
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ag·ony

noun

1. extreme physical or mental suffering.

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Ethan's POV

I don't sleep, not like I used to at least, and I rarely leave my room nowadays. I don't want to run into her. She's all I think about, but I feel like seeing her in person is different. I miss her -God knows I do - but I can't stop the anger that surges inside of me every time I see her.

I want to hate her for making me feel this way, for putting me in this situation in the first place, but my heart won't let me. Deep down, beneath all this hurt and anger that I'm feeling, there's still the undying adoration that I've held for her since the moment we met. I want to forgive her, say screw it and grab her by the waist and pull her close to me, but I can't-not yet at least. My pride won't allow it.

My jumbled thoughts are disturbed by a soft knock on the door.

I sigh, standing from the lawn chair that I've been glued to for the past few hours as I open the balcony doors and enter my room. I almost trip over an empty beer bottle as I trudge through the darkness of my room. I run my hand over the dark stubble that I've accumulated over a week of not shaving.

Squinting, I crack open my door and peer down at my mother. "Hey mom." I mumble, my voice hoarse and foreign to my ears.

"Ethan," She presses her lips into a firm line and her forehead creases with concern, as she rakes her eyes over her pathetic excuse for a son. "Honey, dinner is ready. Are you joining us tonight?"

I watch as her gaze travels past me and into my dirty room. I step into the doorway, blocking her view.

"I don't know," I watch as her blue eyes darken and her shoulders slump. "Maybe," I add not wanting her to worry as much as I know she already does.

I've been skipping out on our morning walks these past few days and I feel kind of bad about it. It's not her fault that my life is falling apart, but I'm too lazy and depressed to spend time with her.

I sigh, already regretting this. "You know what mom, save me a place. Just give me a sec to get washed up okay?"

Her radiant smile makes me feel a little better about my inevitable downward spiral after I see Imani tonight.

"Oh Ethan that's great!" She smiles, beaming. "I know everyone is going to be so happy that you're coming tonight!" She hesitates for a moment. "We've...we've missed you."

I frown slightly as I run a hand through my messy hair, "I gotta go mom, but I'll be down soon...I promise."

I begin to shut my door.

"O-okay," she mumbles and although she's still smiling, her eyes look sad. "I love you!" She calls as I fully close the door, sealing myself once again in darkness.

Leaning my head back against the door, I sigh deeply.

This won't end well.