Unspoken Words

Chapter 43

(A/N) Please read the note at the end.

Melody's pov

It had been a week since the police had came. Going over everything that happened hurt like hell.

And as we went over everything I remembered something that I shouldn't have forgotten.

Jess.

She's gone.

Because of me.

If I hadn't hurt her or met her she would be alive and happy. And what about her dad. He already lost his wife and now his daughter is gone too.

I stumbled into the bathroom and I looked at the mess I was. I was twice as skinny as I was in the beginning of the week. I was extremely pale except for my red, puffy eyes. My hair was in tangles and my cheeks were tear stained.

I hated myself. Inside and out.

I wanted to throw or break something. I searched the room for something, anything. My eyes landed on a package of razor blades.

My thoughts were so irrational that I grabbed the package and took one out.

All the hate and tears were in that blade. All I needed to do was let it all out.

*********

I bandaged myself up and layed on my bed. Cutting myself didn't make me happy or solve my problems, but in some way it did help.

All the pain that I caused others was finally getting repaid.

I closed my eyes and let the tears fall, until I fell asleep.

*********

I woke up when I heard Dani banging and yelling at my door.

He was doing the same thing Christina had been doing for the past week. But this was the first time he had tried in a week. I thought about what my options were. Maybe this is when I should break up with him. Or tell him I'm moving out. I don't know where, but I needed to leave.

I threw on a sweatshirt, making sure to cover the bandages and I opened the door.

Shock was written all over his face when I opened the door.

"Mel" he grabbed my arms, in an attempt to hug me, and I winced.

"Mel?" he looked hurt and confused. I sat down on the bed and he sat next to me.

"I wanted to ask you this earlier" he took a deep breath "Did- Did that guy, Andy, hurt you?"

"No. Nothing like that ever happened" I reassured him.

"Then why did you wince- Mel what did you do?" he looked hurt and angry now.

I tried to get up and leave, but Dani grabbed my arm and rolled up my sleeve. When he saw the bandages and the blood slowly seeping through, tears flooded his eyes. I looked away because I was too embarrassed to look him in the eyes.

"When?" was all he could say.

"Today" I mumbled. He let go of my arm and put his head in his hand and cried.

I had no idea this would cause him more pain then he already had.

"I'm sorry Dani" I cried. "I just felt like that was the only resolution to what I did"

"But you didn't do anything! And I'm not going to sit out there and let you cry yourself to sleep anymore. Or starve yourself. And the fact that you are hurting yourself on top of it makes it so much worse. Please Melody, I'm begging you to realize how much I love you and how much I need you. Just talk to me. Let me in"