The Perks of Being a Freak (Editing)

10. As If This Whole Situation Wasn't Weird Already

I came to my body slowly, from a long distance. My fingers twitched numbly, and then (all without my dictation) my eyelids peeled back slowly to find a brunette woman in doctors scrubs and a face mask standing over me.

Is the mask to keep us from breathing the same air? I wondered. Am I contaminated in some way? Or is she? Between the two of us, who is the sick one, the girl on the hospital bed or the one who cut her open for no reason?

“You survived,” she said, sounding as near as a human could get to emotionlessness. “Congrats.”

I tried to open my mouth and ask where my friends were, but as soon as my teeth separated, a blinding flash of pain split me in half. From the tips of my fingers to the crown of my head I burned and ached. Especially my back. My entire back was a mess of throbbing aches.

'Water,' I tried to say, but still my mouth wouldn’t make the words I wanted it to. Slower, I tried to mouth it and ignore the excruciating pain in my back. Either the nurse-who-had-no-emotions could read lips, or she had anticipated my thirst, because she stood and walked out, hopefully to get water. I tried to stretch out my consciousness, and feel for my friends, but it was like they weren’t there. Were they dead? Had they been killed? Is that why I can’t feel them?

Was it because her walls were too strong? Maybe if she let them weaken, she would be able to sense her friends. But could I? Was I strong enough to take down my own defenses and leave myself vulnerable?

Hell yeah I can. I’m Lia Davis, and I can do anything.

Without preamble, I let the steel that enclosed me tightly drop.

Instantly, a rush of memories-that-were-not-my-own flooded through my head. Now I knew what to look for. I sifted through the enormous, empty space that was filled to the brim with the past. I looked through the familiar things that I had never seen before, and I could find the people who were connected to me.

Emily? Rajeev? I called out. My voice echoed and warbled. How long had it been? How long had she been unconscious in a hospital bed? Tony? Benny?

It hurts, Lia, Emily whispered. I turned to see the golden light hovering before me, looking weak and sickly. Can you make it stop?

I’m sorry, Em, I told her. I can’t. But I need you to tell me everything that’s happened.

They took you, she sobbed. One by one/ the demons come/ and take us by the hand/ They lead us down/ to hells dark gate/ torture we must withstand.

They’ve hurt you? I growled into the darkness. Memories writhed as they went by. Descending needles. Hollow screams. Empty eyes. Surgical masks. Scalpels dipped in blood. Latex gloves. The smell of formaldehyde. Pain, pain, and more pain.

One by one/ the demons come/ one by one/ the demons come. Over and over Emily chanted, and I was completely lost. What had happened? What was wrong with Emily? What had those bastards done?

It was strange to open my eyes to the real world and still feel connected. As I took the glass of water from the nurse, my essence was inside the Dark Space, trying to soothe Emily and wrangle answers out of her at the same time.

Don’t bother, Tony said, sounding tired. Emily was the last one to be taken. She went insane with loneliness, and after the tests they ran on her she went crazy with the pain. They fucked up her brain, Lia.

Please tell me that everyone else is alright, I begged. Please.

We are, Rajeev said. Emily is with us. We’re back in the Dark Room. Are you alright?

I... I think so. I’ll get back as soon as I can. I promised.

I have never been so happy to be fluent in sign language. I had started taking it, along with spanish, in kindergarten, and now it was saving me.

‘Can I please go back to my friends,’ I signed slowly, in large motions. The nurse watched dully, and then sighed.

“I suppose. Just be careful not to jostle your wings too much,” she hauled me up by my elbow. Barely giving me time to process the words.

Wings?