The Perks of Being a Freak (Editing)

40. This Whole Boy Thing Is Becoming A Problem

I couldn’t get them out of my head.

It had been nearly a week since my little confrontation with Simon, Mitchell, and Jaeb, and I couldn’t get the trio out of my thoughts. Why had Simon hated me so much? I had never met him before. He could at least get to know me before he starts hating me.

A week of early-morning swim practices, and hanging out at the mall with Emily, Benny, and Rajeev. To my surprise, the two boys had become some of my best friends.

It was hard to stay in touch with normal people when you’re busy being a freak.

We would go to the movies, or hang out at the mall eating crepes, or hang out at our respective houses. I met Rajeev’s mother, who was an absolute sweetheart. I played with Jane, Emily’s little sister. I pretended that nothing was wrong, that I was perfectly fine, and focused, and sane.

But I kept thinking about the way that Simon had looked at me.

Now I have had people hate me before. It’s an occupational hazard of dyeing your hair and wearing dark clothes. There were people who hated me, who tried to make me feel worthless. 

But none of them have ever looked at me with such horrible, searing malice.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t hear Rajeev the first time he asked me out. But then I looked up at him, and realized that he had asked me something.

“Sorry,” I said, frowning apologetically. “I zoned out. What’s up?”

Raj took a nervous, shaky breath and twisted his fingers together. Instantly I knew that something was wrong. Rajeev may be nervous around some people, but not around me. I had made it very clear to him a long time ago that he was not allowed to be nervous around me, because I would never judge him or mock him.

“Will you go out with me?” He said it all at once, a rushed exhalation of breath. 

I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t understand what he meant at first. Go out? Go out where? We had just gotten back from the movies.

And then the meaning clicked.

Rajeev was asking me out on a date.

Rajeev had feelings for me.

Son of a bitch things just got messy.