The Perks of Being a Freak (Editing)

43. The Choices That We Make

Simon had thrown me, and it looked like he was trying to throw me off of a roof, but he missed. I hit the ground hard and rolled, barely stopping before I rolled off of the edge. Immediately, I tried to get up, but my entire left side was a mess of pain. I could only groan and get to my hands and knees.

Get away, I thought, watching Simon advance on me, dark fury on his face. Run. Retreat. Whatever. Just get the fuck out of here.

When Simon stopped short and stared at where I was in confusion, I realized that Benny must have made me invisible. Shaking my head, I rolled off of the roof. My body screamed in pain, but I forced my wings to open and catch the air.

Meet out front by my car. Go now. I instructed, shooting over the building and diving towards the parking lot.

Give us a minute, Benny said, fear tinging his mental voice. Not all of us can fly.

Some of us can’t do anything, Rajeev sounded so bitter it made me flinch.

Raj? Are you okay? I asked.

I’m just fucking fine, he sneered back. I reeled. Rajeev didn’t swear. I’m so useless. All I can do is run and hide.

So? Benny demanded. You’re still one of us, one of the Freaks.

No, I’m not! Rajeev yelled. I’m not a freak. I’m the only one of us who isn’t a freak! I don’t fit in with you weirdos and I don’t fit in with normal people!

Who cares about fitting in? Why did everyone think that being the same as other people was so important?

Obviously, I do. Rajeev sounded close to tears. I hate being a freak, and I’m not even freakish enough to fit in with the freaks. Take me home, Lia. And don’t talk to me again, any of you.

What else could I do?

Rajeev had made his choice, the same choice that Tony had made. I watched him get out of my car, and walk to his house, shoulders tight, spine straight, and I cried inside.

I was losing my friends.

But they were more than friends. They were the people that I trusted more than anyone else. They were my freaks, the ones just like me.

And I was driving them away.

After I had dropped Emily and Benny off, I drove myself home, breaking several speed limits but not caring.

I parked the car, and felt the tears welling, threatening to drown me.

So I screamed and beat the steering wheel.

This was all my fault. It was my fault Tony was gone. It was my fault that Rajeev wanted nothing to do with us. It was my fault that Simon and his little attack dogs had decided to use us as punching bags.

Couldn’t I do anything right?