The Perks of Being a Freak (Editing)

30. The Fear Of Being A Freak

It was only a little bit unexpected when Benny came over to my house and picked me up to go get ice cream. Of course, I could sense him as soon as he was within a mile of my house, but still. It was nice of him.

He even remembered what my favorite kind of ice cream was (mint chip) and he paid.

“So,” he began, twisting his spoon in his own cup of vanilla ice cream. “Will you forgive them?”

I would have been confused at the question, except that I could read him mind. “I’m not sure.” I shrugged. “It was bad enough when they thought I was sulking. Now… now they’re trying to fix it so that they feel better… not because they want me to feel better.”

“And how does that make you feel?” Benny leaned his cheek on his hand exaggeratedly, condescendingly. I smacked him.

“Hush. Enough about me. What about you? How’s your home life?” I laughed.

“Well, I’m grounded for just about forever for sneaking out,” Benny laughed, dumping a dollop of ice cream into his mouth. I chuckled.

“That’s too bad. If you’re grounded, how are you here?” I cocked my head.

“Ah, Lia,” Benny shook his spoon in my face. “You forget that my mind is linked with that of one of the greatest escape artists of all time, not to mention a genius, and a delinquent. I simply borrowed some of your tricks.”

“Uh huh,” I narrowed my eyes at him. “Your mom just let you walk out, right?” Benny grinned and nodded.

“I told her that I was going to see you,” he winked. “And you know how much she loves you.” It was true. Tina Hall did love me. When Benny and I had dated, she had insisted that I come over for dinner at least twice a week. I knew the inside of Benny’s house almost better than I knew the inside of mine.

“Tell your mom hi for me, okay?” I asked. Benny nodded, mouth full of ice cream.

For a short time we were silent, each digging into our frozen treats. I couldn’t help but remember the last time I had sat at the Parlor with Benny, on our second or third date. We had shared a brownie sundae. He had gotten whipped cream on my nose and kissed it off. We had kissed for the first time that day.

Is he remembering then, too? I wondered. This whole mind reading thing is crap. I know some of what he’s thinking, but not the things that I want to know.

“Is something wrong?” Benny asked suddenly. He looked a little perturbed. Dark blond hair fell into dark blue eyes. 

“No I’m just… thinking.” I scooped the last bit of half-melted ice cream into my mouth and smiled. Benny smiled back and stood, reaching for my cup. I shook my head and grabbed his. He laughed, relented, and let me throw away the trash.

“Hate to see you go,” he laughed. “Love to watch you leave.” I spun around and, sure enough, Benny’s eyes were locked below my waist. He looked up, smirked, and winked. I blushed uncontrollably, angry. What a perv!

“Dick!” I called, glad that there was no one to witness Benny’s murder.

“You know you want me,” he said, slinging an arm around my shoulder as I tried to walk past him. “You shouldn’t deny your true feelings.”

I punched him in the stomach and stomped to the car.

Benny knew that we were over. The breakup had been mutual. He had been moving too fast, and I too slow. We had decided years ago. Why was he doing this now? Sure, sometimes we flirted, but neither of us pushed the line into uncomfortable territory.

This was exceptionally uncomfortable.

“Lia, I’m sorry.” Benny panted, hunched over slightly. I paused with my hand on the hood of his car.

“Why?” I asked simply. Benny could fill in the blanks himself.

“It’s… I think it has something to do with sharing mind space.” He said, sounding slightly frantic. “I know so much about you now that it just… I’m more comfortable with you than I should be and I’m sorry.”

His words brought back a memory, sharing stories in the cages. Benny had never shared.

“You never told us your life story,” I said softly, looking at him sideways.

Benny tensed, and then he stalked tightly to the drivers side. I scrambled into the passenger seat and buckled myself in as he pulled out of the Parlor parking lot.

I didn’t think he would tell me.

But then he started to talk.

“Even when I was little, I knew that my older sister, Samantha… there was something wrong with her. Her face always looked a little… weird. She always acted funny. My parents said that she was sick. I asked them if she would ever get better. They said no. Then one day she was… she was just gone. I snooped around, and found out that doctors had told my parents that they should get Samantha to a surgeon, who might make it easier for her. They didn’t have the money. So instead they sent her to an insane asylum.

“I’ve always been afraid that I’ll be next. They’re going to find something imperfect about me and send me away as well. I tried to hide it, but when we got back, I was absolutely terrified that they would find out that I was a freak and send me away.

“That’s why I didn’t tell you guys when I figured out that I could make things invisible.”

And then Benny looked down at his hands, wrapped so tightly around the steering wheel that I was afraid he would hurt himself.

“I won’t tell anyone, Ben,” I promised seriously, wishing that he would look at me so he could see how sincere I was. “I swear on my life that I will not tell anyone else.”

“Thank you, Lia,” now he looked at me, smiling sadly.

I remembered the blond girl I had seen in one of my first visions. She had been adorable, despite the DOWN syndrome. She had been smiling and waving. She had been happy. 

And it sucked that Benny’s parents would just give her away.