The Perks of Being a Freak (Editing)

32. I'm Glad That I Have Closure

Naturally, I was not the one who initiated the kiss. Also, regretfully, I was not thinking about kissing Benny, I was thinking of our first kiss.

Even back then, when we were small little eighth-graders, I had known that there was nothing between us. All the things Benny had said were true, but they were not just characteristics of soul mates, or people who would be perfect together in a relationship.

They were also characteristics of friendship.

Because that’s all that Benny was to me, a friend. He was one of my best friends, but he was still just a friend, and kissing him was awkward.

So I pulled away.

“Benny, I’m sorry,” I shook my head. “But there’s really nothing there.”

“I know,” he said, looking sad. “I just wanted to try because I do care for you.”

“And I care about you, too,” I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. “But that doesn’t mean we have to date. We can just be friends, and we’ll be just as great together.”

“So no more kissing?” Benny waggled his eyebrows. I laughed.

“No more kissing,” I replied, grinning like an idiot. This was good. Now I had closure with Benny, and he was still my friend.

Friends were, in my opinion, better than lovers. Friends didn’t expect things from you, like kissing or gifts or declarations of love. Friends supported you, and loved you. I would rather have a thousand great friends than one amazing boyfriend.

Even though I loved Benny, had always loved him, I was not in love with him. There was nothing wrong with Benny, I just wasn’t the right girl for him.

I hoped that he found her soon. I hoped and prayed that Benny could find someone who accepted him for who he was, even though he was a perverted freak.