The Perks of Being a Freak (Editing)

5. The First Time (Of Many) That Tony Is A Jerk

Pain flared through my skull once again, a sharp stab up my spine straight to my temples. It hurt, but it was not as intense as before. This time, neither Emily nor I fell over screaming. My head still ached from that, and I reached up to touch my temple. There was a spot of dried blood where I had cracked it against the concrete.

I wonder if it’s serious, I wondered involuntarily. 

Poor Tony, Emily thought, sympathetic.

Poor all of us, I replied tensely. I could feel Emily’s annoyance at my sarcasm. It was sharp and tight, like the sting of a bumblebee against my consciousness. Sorry, Em. I can’t control my thoughts.

I know. I’m sorry too, Emily said, looking sheepish in the dim light.

I tried to smile back at her, but I suspect that it was more of a grimace. How could I smile? We were trapped in a cellar. We might be killed soon. We were in pain. We could read each others minds. It was hard to smile under the weight of so much uncertainty and fear.

And then something brushed against the wall in my mind.

I jumped, and looked around stupidly, expecting there to be someone with a feather tickling at my head. Which was stupid, of course. There was no one else in the cage, and no one else had woken up yet. We would know, because they would most likely scream.

Whatever ‘it’ was, it didn’t feel malignant, or like it had any intentions at all. It felt curious, adventurous. I imagined the walls inside of my head growing stronger, just in case.

But then I actually thought about it.

When I had reached the edge of my field of memories, I had fallen into Tony’s Dark Space. Tony had just gone under a minute ago. He was probably walking through his Dark Space, the same as Emily and I had. Maybe he had hit the barrier in between them. Maybe if I let it down a bit, I could tell him how to protect his mind.

Is it worth the risk? Emily asked. I could feel her worries swelling beneath the question. They didn’t know Tony. What if he tried to hurt us or use their memories against us? What if he didn’t want help? What if he tried to kill us both?

He went to the same school as we did, but that was pretty much all we knew for sure about him. Hell, I only knew his last name because he got called down to the office so often. For all we knew, he could be a psycho ax-murderer.

I don’t know, I replied. Normally, I would tell Emily not to worry, and go ahead with the whole lowering-my-defenses thing. But this wasn’t the world we once lived in. This wasn’t safe. Back home, the worst thing that could happen to you if you didn’t think things through was that you would get hurt. Here? Who knows what the consequences would be? We might die if we made the wrong choices.

Trapped in the dark, scared, like animals in a cage.

I didn’t want to let Tony anywhere near my mind. I had secrets, dark ones, and I loved my privacy. I didn’t want Tony staring through my life, picking my psyche apart.

You’ve seen his, Emily reminded me. I doubt that any of us will have secrets for much longer.

I want to hold onto mine as long as I can, I couldn’t explain in words, but Emily understood the sentiment. I didn’t want to give up my secrets if I didn’t have to, and she felt the same way. 

Maybe you don’t have to let down the barrier entirely, the dark haired girl mused, staring at the prone body of Tony O’Neil.