THE WEIGHT OF LIVING PART 1- A BASTILLE DAN FANFICTION

23. Leave

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Sarah's POV

I returned home in the early hours of the morning. Linda went and brought her car to the hospital and took me back, which was kind of her. I spent a few hours in the hospital, talking to a bereavement midwife which didn't really help me that greatly. When I got home, I just didn't know what to do with myself. I sat on my bed, consolidating what had happened, but I couldn't focus on one thing. My mind kept jumping around from one thing to the next.

The hospital had given me a lock of her hair, after I asked if there was anything I could get to remind myself of her. It was in a little see through glass box and I kept staring at it, not letting it leave my palm. It was so precious. The only thing I had to ever prove her existence.

I tried not to think about Dan, but this just brought everything flooding back. I didn't seem to miss him, something I thought was unusual. This scenario made me despise him even more. How could he do something like this to me when he knew about our baby. But I guess it didn't matter now. Our baby was gone. He never even had the chance to see it, and I was glad he didn't. He didn't deserve it. He had another baby to worry about and quite frankly, I didn't want to have anything to do with him ever again.

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Unsurprisingly, I didn't get any sleep that night. How was I supposed to? I dragged myself up from bed. I should probably have something for breakfast, but I wasn't hungry, or in the mood for eating. I picked up my phone from the floor, discovering I had a new message from Dan as I did so. I sighed and opened the message reluctantly.

I am so sorry for everything Sarah. I hope you are all right and I wan't you to know that I love you more than anything in the world. Please forgive me. xx

His message made my even more raged at him. How could I forgive him? He sounded so desperate and I was sure that there was no real emotion in his message he sent. I really wasn't in the mood for making up with him anytime soon, so disregarded the message and tried not to think about it.

I placed my phone onto my desk and plugged it into charge. I walked towards the door of my room, realizing Dan's clothes still littered my room, reminding me of him. I picked up a plastic bag that lay on the floor and began to shove them inside. I didn't want them in my room. After picking them up from my floor, I chucked the bag down the stairs. Not wanting to see them ever again. 

I wandered into the kitchen and sat down. I brought the lock of hair out of my pocket and placed it onto the table, staring at it. As I looked up, I saw the first baby scan we had pinned to the notice board. You can only just make out her body, but it was special none the less. I walked over and unpinned it, placing it on the table with the other keepsake. These were all I had now.

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Dan's POV

I found my phone upstairs and dropped Sarah a quick text message, hoping for some communication back from her. I stumbled downstairsand back into the kitchen. Kyle still remained there, another bottle of alcohol beside him. Although the previous stuff I drunk didn't taste the nicest, it was beginning to relax me a little so I decided to help myself to some more. I picked up the bottle and poured my self a large glass, Kyle smirked and continued to stare into his phone. I downed the drink, it tasted better than the previous one, but I still had no idea what it was. 

I checked my phone again. She had read the message but was choosing no to reply. What should I do? I picked up the courage to go back around to her house. I was feeling better after the few drinks I had consumed had helped me clear my thoughts.

"See ya Kyle." I said, placing my phone back in my pocket.

"Where you going?" He asked, looking up from his phone. 

"To see Sarah." I replied, slamming the door shut before he had the chance to reply.

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After taking the bus, I finally arrived at the bottom of the drive. I would tell her I had come to pick up my stuff, then she would surely have to invite me inside. I took a deep breath and began walking towards the house, the gravel crunching under my feet. I arrived on the doorstep and knocked on the door, waiting for her to answer.

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Sarah's POV

I stopped what I was doing when a knocking at the door interrupted me. It must be Linda, she said she would come over today to see how I was getting on. I scraped my hair into a ponytail and grabbed a jumper from the bench in an attempt to make myself look more presentable. I made my way to the door and opened it up. I had to do a double take when I saw Dan, standing there. What the hell was he doing here? I didn't want to see him.

"I'm so sorry Sarah." He stuttered, almost falling backwards as he said so. "I, I have come to collect my things." He stated, leaning forwards, into me. The pungent smell of alcohol filling my nostrils. He had been drinking, was he drunk? I leant away and picked up the bag from the bottom of the stairs. By the time I turned around he had already stumbled into the house, towering above me.

"Here." I said, throwing him the bag as I stood up. "Now get out!" I yelled, pointing to the door. I could feel tears beginning to form in my eyes, but I tried to hold them in.

"Surely, you don't mean that Sarah.." He whispered, bringing his face to mine and pressing his lips together, the smell of alcohol even stronger this time. What the hell was he doing?