THE WEIGHT OF LIVING PART 1- A BASTILLE DAN FANFICTION

24. High Hopes - Kodaline

Updated version of this chapter. hope you enjoy it:)

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She looked at the small screen, it read positive. Crap. She had dismissed the idea that it would actually be true. Was she ready yet? She had no idea what to think or do. How would she tell Dan and how would she tell her parents. She felt so young and not fully matured yet. Although some of her friends had children, she just didn't seem to feel right about it all.

She tried to clear her mind and made herself a snack. She poured herself some orange juice into a glass and toasted some waffles. She squeezed the golden syrup on top and took a few mouthfuls. She didn't feel hungry anymore. The thought was whizzing around in her head.

She looked at her watch, it was 15:30. Dan must be due home soon, but he still hadn't texted to inform her exactly when. She was still angry with him, but the unbearable stomach pain had overwhelmed all her thoughts. She decided to go for a lie down, contemplating her decisions. What would Dan think? She went onto her phone, checking if Dan had posted anything on any social media sites recently. This morning he had posted a tweet saying:

Sad to be leaving Glasgow, it's been great! :)

All her hope of him missing her a small amount was diminished. Of course he hadn't missed her. He is probably surrounded by beautiful girls all the time and the one on the vine was just one of them. She felt heartbroken that he could just do something like this to her, she had completely miss judged his personality. This is probably something she will have to deal with all the time. After all, she is dating the lead singer of a band. She suddenly began to feel uneasy, was she going to have to get used to it? She was unsure whether she was making the right decision...

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Sarah somehow managed to catch a few hours sleep before she was awoken by the sound of someone at the door, trying to get in. This must be Dan. She dragged herself out of bed and scraped her greasy hair into a messy bun. She walked downstairs, grabbing the pregnancy test from sight as she did so. It brought the truth back to reality. She was going to have to tell him sooner or later.

She opened the front door reluctantly to see Dan there, smiling. He also looked shattered, his cheeks a pale white. He waited for her to invite her in, but Sarah just stepped out the way to let him in, trying not to make eye contact.

"Hi." Dan said, confused at why Sarah was being so dismissive.

"Hello." Sarah mumbled.

"How are you then?" Dan asked as he pushed the strands of hair off her face. Sarah shrugged him off.

"Fine." She lied.

"Really? You don't look it." said Dan noticing her pale complexion and scruffy attire.

"Yeh, I'm great." She said sarcastically.

"Sarah, I've missed you so much, I'm so glad to be home." He said nearing closer to her. He tried to hug her but she just stared at the floor, deep in thought.

"If you missed me then why didn't you reply to my texts." She said, hers eyes watering. "You obviously didn't miss me as much as I missed you." She said loudly, tears rolling down her face.

"Oh, Sarah I'm so sorry, I've been really busy. We've had lots of meetings to go to and I've hardly had any free time at all." Liar. She knew he was by the look on his face, trying to cover it up.

"Oh really." Sarah said sarcastically, wiping away her tears. Dan stared at her looking very confused at why she was acting like this.

"I don't know what you mean. I'm sorry I didn't reply to you I just-" He was cut off by Sarah, interrupting him mid speech.

"Don't lie, I know you had a great time with the 'best girl ever'" She said, putting an emphasis on his on his own words. Dan seemed more confused than ever now. He didn't have any clue about what was going on.

"You're still not making any sense to me. What have I done wrong?" He said, apologetically.

"I know you are lying to me you know exactly what I mean." Sarah shouted, running off into the bathroom.

Dan dropped his bags and ran after her. Just as she was about to slam the door, Dan put his foot out to stop it closing fully.

"Sarah, what's going on.. I didn't mean to hurt you." He said worrying about what he had done.

"Well it's too late now." Sarah said. Dan could hear her sobbing so opened the door fully. He rested his hands on her shoulder and kissed her cheek. She tried to back away but it was too late.

"Please tell me what's the matter." Dan said, his eyes widening.

Sarah followed Dan into the living room. He sat down beside her but she edged away.

"Who is this girl you spent the night with then." She said sternly giving him her phone. "Why were you with her and what were you doing with her."

Dan watched the video in horror. He gasped as he saw the kiss and quickly exited the app.

"Oh my god.. Sarah- I'm soo sorry." He stuttered. "Err.. don't have a clue what this is.. I certainly didn't post it or at least I can't remember doing so.lo" He apologised, flustered making it sound even worse. Sarah's emotions were a complete mess, she was fuming and so upset.

"Oh so let me get this straight. You left me at home all alone, not even bothering to send me a text and now your telling me you were to bloody drunk to not realise you snogged some random person. I won't believe another word you say because I know it won't be true. It's nice to know you obviously missed me so much." It all came out, she couldn't stop herself. She was glad he knew how it felt to be betrayed.

She looked up to see Dan speechless. His hands were nervously twitching and his mouth wide with shock. He didn't realise how strongly she felt.

"Listen.. Sarah.. I'm so sorry...I really didn't mean things to turn out like this." He smiled. "We really have been busy and we only went out one night I promise...." He tried to change her opinion but she was taking none of it. He tried to near closer to her, putting his hands around her shoulders. He went in to kiss her soft lips but she soon she slipped out from his grasp and slid back even further away. Dan frowned. He had really messed up this time and he knew she wasn't going to get over it that easily.

"Please, Sarah just understand that your the one I love. Not her or anyone else." He pleaded for her understanding, but she still didn't fully believe him.

"Has anything been happening, whilst I've been away, like with you?" He asked trying to change the subject slightly

"Oh nothing much. Just Bertie's funeral and I've been kinda ill. Thanks for asking." She replied sarcastically.

"Oh." realising what he had missed. "I'm sorry I didn't ask. I completely forgot." He replied "And you've been ill, are you alright now?"

"Not really." Sarah replied and I don't think I will be for a while." Dan's gaze widened.

"Why?" He seemed worried.

Sarah dug her hand into her pocket and brought out the pregnancy test.

"Because I'm pregnant."

She couldn't hide it any longer, he had to know. As she looked up Dan's mouth had widened even more. He looked utterly stunned, obviously not expecting it. Neither of them were.

"Sarah." He questioned. "Am I the father?" He hoped for the answer to be yes, but he never knew. After all, he didn't really deserve it.

"Yes." Replied Sarah, the tears had returned.

What were they going to do?