THE WEIGHT OF LIVING PART 1- A BASTILLE DAN FANFICTION

26. Decieve

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Sarah's POV

Tara left about half an hour later. Turns out she was staying with an old friend and they were going out for a meal. She asked me if I would like to attend, but right now, it was the last thing on my mind. 

I decided to retreat back upstairs, into my bedroom, picking up my baby's memories as I did so. I looked under my bed to find a baby box Dan's parents had given to us a little while ago. I carefully placed the photograph and glass case into it and pushed it back under the bed, so they were in a safe place now.

I picked up my phone and decided to watch Bertie's video again. Even though the subject was the harsh reality of what I had done to him, I picked up on how long it must have taken for him to film and edit the video. It felt weird to know that all his viewers now got an insight into what his life was like. Really they didn't know what it was actually about, only me knew that, and that's the way I wished it would remain.

For once in a while, I was starting to feel quite hungry. I slumped downstairs and raided the cupboards to soon discover there was nothing that seemed relatively appealing to me. I made the decision to go into town to buy some groceries and in doing so, hopefully get some fresh air to help me think more clearly.

I walked the distance I would usually cover on the bus and it seemed to take a lot less time than I remembered. Before I knew it, I was standing in the town square, in the midst of the hussle and bussle of this busy Saturday afternoon. As I looked around I saw my cafe. My friend had taken over for me whilst I was sorting my life out, so I decided to pop in to see how things were going. 

"Hi Abbie." I said as I walked through the door. She looked a little startled to see me here, but I continued to walk up to the counter. 

"Sarah! Hi, how are you?" She replied as she poured a customer a coffee.

"I'm okay.." I lied, trying to change the subject. "How are things with you?" 

"Yeah, everythings going well, it's been so busy these past few weeks." She smiled as she made another drink for a customer. I looked around to see almost every table was occupied. At least something was going well, I thought to myself.

"That's good then." I faked a smile. "I best be off now and leave you to it." I said as I looked at the queue of people waiting to be served. "Thanks for everything Abbie." I whispered as I made my way out, thanking her for all her hard work.

I then proceeded to walk across the town square towards Waitrose. I passed various people I recognized but I kept my head down in an attempt to stop any unwanted conversations forming. I wasn't usually this antisocial but right now, I had other things on my mind.

I grabbed a shopping trolley and wheeled it through the doors that opened automatically. I searched the aisles for anything that I thought looked relatively appealing and placed it into the trolley. Upon looking down at my almost overflowing trolley, I decided it was probably best to stop there, and head to the checkout. I watched carefully as the man scanned my items through and bagged them up, so much so that I realized he was talking to me. 

"Excuse me?" I looked up quickly as he said so. "That will be seventy one pounds forty please." He asked, I could feel my cheeks blushing slightly as I fumbled around in my bag for my purse. I pushed my credit card into the machine and entered my pin quickly, looking at the angry line of impatient customers behind me.

"Thank you." I said as I picked up my carrier bags and made my way out. The bags were so heavy they seemed to drag me down, making me look as though I was bent double but I continued to walk on over to the tree in the middle of the square to get a sit down. I place my shopping bags on the bench, relieved to feel the weight had gone. Just as I was about to sit down, I noticed something in the corner of my eye. I averted my eyes to see Dan and Tara together in the alcove between two shops. What were they doing? I continued to look over, hoping they wouldn't see me and watched as they began to kiss each other. I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing.

As I continued to look at them the reality was really beginning to sink in. It was them and everything Tara had said to me about her never forgiving Dan was all a lie. I didn't know what to think, or who to trust. As I thought it over, I started to feel a little lightheaded and drowsy. My head began to droop and I could start to feel my eyes closing. As I tried to steady myself, I became even more off balance. I began to slowly feel my body falling backwards, I was unable to stop it. I then felt the cold, hard ground cocoon my body..