Far From Your Thoughts (To Be Edited)

Chapter 15

As days went by I got too deep in my work,there was too much in my mind. My daughter and my work were my only priorities, I would talk to Sandy sometimes but our conversation never went anywhere because she was also involved in my issue with Eric. She tried to talk to me,explain everything but I was in no mood to be brainwashed so I would just go straight to bed.
Its been a month and I haven't seen or spoken to Eric,worse I was studying then so I pretty much wasn't focusing on anything or anyone but my Jamie,work and my career. There was a lot to catch up on at work and assignments to do and Jamie's hyper activeness was taking a troll on me.
"Baby go take your coloring book and color a barbie, mummy is trying to study please" I said when she came running demanding my attention.
"No I wanna go to the park mummy, let's go" she begged me.
"Jamie listen,not today okay? I have to study I will go with you tomorrow I promise" I tried to convince her.
"Okay Jamie come on let's go to the park, Char study sweety, I got her" Sand budged in my room taking Jamie by the hand.
"Don't worry I will go with her, I'm sure you got things to do" I said standing from my chair.
"Char what is this? When is this going to end? I apologized and he did,we all make mistakes Char! I'm sorry I hurt you but that was never my intention or his! You know I love you,I know you do! Don't let this affect our relationship,don't involve Jamie in this. I know how you feel I wouldn't want anyone to air my dirty laundry for everyone to see like that, I'm so so sorry Char" she said the last two sentences with her voice so low and tears running down her cheeks.
"Argh I'm sorry Sandy, I know you meant well. And actually you didn't say anything there. I love you and you can have my baby since you've been trying to take her away from me from day 1" I said grabbing her and giving her a tight hug.
"She is ours babe, I miss this. Thank you for forgiving me" She hugged me even tighter.
"I shouldn't have ignored you, You've done so much for me to treat you like I treated you" I explained.
"It's totally understandable, I would do the same and I know its hard for you to trust people. Don't ever think you owe me anything,I'm learning a lot from you. Okay now let go I want to go to the park with this young lady. See you in a few" She got out of my arms and took Jamie.
"Alright thanks, I will cook and read so far"  I said as I went back to reading.
Forgiving Sandy came handy,now I had to deal with her pestering me about how I was being unfair by not forgiving Eric. To be completely honest I didn't get angry at them both for long, I only mopped over it for 2 days and one of my colleagues advised me to see things on their point of view,get in their shoes for a minute. I noticed that they both meant well and I would do the same without thinking twice, though the place was wrong. I knew Eric was never the one to vent in public but still I wasn't ready to have that talk with him.

It was a Tuesday and Sandy was being Sandy, preaching about forgiving and all
"I know you've been hurt before,its hard for you to trust other people but Char life is about risks. Take a chance with Eric,give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm not saying or forcing you to love him deeply but I'm just saying give it a try, a month or two if it does work out then you can say you tried" she begged.
"I don't know, I feel like I will be wasting my time. And I trust you, I know you mean well but I don't know. I already like him too much if it won't work I'm sure I will be crashed real bad this time" I said trying to convince her that this won't go anywhere.
"You have taught me something,you said and I quote "Never get disappointed when things happened beyond your expectations. Remember that the greatest glory in life is rising when you fall. Be strong and have faith" Practice what you preach Char! No matter how many times you break down, there should always be a little voice inside you that says, 'NO, you're not done yet! Be strong, keep hope alive'. And you've risen to many times to be afraid of this" I could see that Sandy was getting angry when she said this.
"Wow alright Sandy wow okayyy, I will try to get in touch with him" I said dismissed the conversation.
She looks deep in my eyes with a serious face, emotions,her love for me written all over it then she smiled and said "Act tough and you will be tough. Have courage and inspire others with your actions. But always be considerate, Another thing I learnt from you"
"I love you you know that? You're using my words against me" I said with tears running down my eyes
"I love you just as much little one" she said hugging me. "Okay you are cooking breakfast today, go before Jamie wake up you know how much we both love our food"
"Argh seriously Sandy? It's not even my turn but you're lucky I'm in the mood" I said getting up leaving my bed with her behind me.
"I will do the dishes"
"Obviously!" I shouted back at her
_
That Saturday afternoon I surprised Sandy with my news
"Can you come with me to my parents' place on Saturday next week" I said getting in her room without knocking.
"Wha-what? Are you serious?" She was shocked,walking out of her bathroom with a towel around her both and a toothbrush in her right hand.
"Go finish brushing your teeth"
"No what's going on? Why?why now?did he do something?did your father say something?" She sat on her bed gesturing me to sit also.
"No,no he didn't" I said
"Then explain to me why you want that man to torture you with his word again?!" She said with her voice so low.
"That's the thing Sandy,I'm tired of his words getting under my skin,haunting me in my sleep. I'm tired of being tied up by his words and actions. Like you said its hard for me to trust other people and he is partly the reason. I need to be free,start trusting people again maybe. I feel like I need to go back and fight my demons,go back and face them like a fighter you said I am and my parent's are my first step. I need Eric but its hard to let him in,I'm full of what ifs. All this time I was secretly hoping and praying that they will come and apologize,tell me they love me but it seems like it will never happen. I'm done,if this is the last time I'm going to see them and my little brother then so be it" I told her
"WOW! I mean wow Char I'm so proud of you, oh gosh Sandy don't cry" she said wiping her tears.
"Thanks Sandy,someone told me be soft as a flower when it comes to kindness but tough as thunder when it comes to principle. To be courteous and polite at all times but never to be pushed around. To ensure that I am always treated with respect. I won't ever be disrespected, I won't be push by anyone's words again,ever! And I thank you" I told her
"So young yet so mature, you're strong and you will go far than you we thought. This person I'm seeing right now,this courageous strong woman will shock everyone,your friends and your parents. This was far from their thoughts,I'm sure the person you're right now was way too far from your thoughts as well" This time it was me crying,everything she said was too amazing I couldn't believe it was all about me.
"I actually can't believe I'm here right now,I have you and Eric,yes I reached out to him and I'm seeing him tomorrow after church. Sometimes I pinch myself thinking it's a dream and I will just wake up from it under a bridge somewhere" I giggled though it was true.
"I can't walk in your shoes,I mean my own size confuse me" she said laughing then said "I'm glad you're finally letting go and finally giving Eric a chance,I will go with you to your parents' place. You missy are stuck with me forever"
"I wouldn't wanna have it any other way sis,you mean a lot to me"