Killer || JJK✔️

- ELEVEN -

I was frozen for a few seconds. Did I really want to go home that badly? I was all that Jungkook had, even if I was a lot of trouble for him a lot of the time.

I shoved my hand into the bag and pulled out another chip, and Jungkook suddenly shouted in frustration. What was wrong?

Jungkook slammed his bedroom door shut behind him, and stormed down the hallway.

"WHAT ARE YOU–" He shouted, but stopped once he entered the kitchen to see me. "You're eating all my chips?"

"I was hungry!" I argued blatantly in my defense.

"But barbecue chips are my favorite, you can't just eat all of them!" Jungkook whined, and I sighed. I had to agree, barbecue chips are my favorite too. I wouldn't like it if someone ate all of mine...

"Sorry, I was starving, moving on." I replied, and rolled up the bag so it would stay closed before putting it back into the cabinet. 

I was about to head into the living room, but Jungkook grabbed my arm, keeping me in the kitchen.

"Micha, are you okay?" Jungkook asked, turning me around to face him. Those words hit me in the face like a truck. Every bad thought that'd crossed my mind in the past two days came rushing back to my mind.

"I'm fine." I answered, holding it in.

"When a girl says she's fine, she's not." Jungkook stated.

"I swear I'm–" I started, but my cheek felt wet, and I frustratedly wiped my hand across it to just feel another tear roll down. No, not now! "–f-fine."

Jungkook wordlessly pulled me into a tight hug. All I could do was wrap my arms around his torso as more tears fell, getting his shirt wet.

I felt weak. This wasn't like me to cry in front of someone, I usually held it all in until I was alone, and–embarrassingly–cried my eyes out. I hated crying, and I hated it even more when it happened in front of other people. I know he's seen me cry before, but it just makes me feel worse that it's not the first time.

"Shh, shh, it's okay..." He cooed, patting my back. I hated it when he made me feel like a baby, but he was only trying to help, and I couldn't bring myself to yell at him when I was a mess like this.

I sobbed, and he just waited for me to stop, not letting go from the hug. A few minutes later I had finally calmed down, and Jungkook backed away. 

"Let's go sit down on the couch," Jungkook said, "Unless you don't want to talk about it."

I wiped a tear from my cheek, unsure of what I wanted to do. I go from not crying in front of anyone to bawling my eyes out in front of Jungkook, whom I've only recently met? Do I really want to spill all my feelings to him just yet?

"Sure..." I mumbled, and then mentally slapped myself. Why would I do that?

Jungkook lead me into the living room, and we sat down on the couch, and he just looked at me patiently.

"You can say whatever you want, I'll just listen. Unless you want me to share my thoughts..." Jungkook added.

"Okay... I guess I'm just... scared." I mumbled, looking to the ground. I was never good at sharing my feelings or saying what was on my mind.

"Of what?" Jungkook asked.

"I don't really know... Everything?"

Jungkook nodded, and waited for me to explain. Okay... Here I go.

"I'm feeling homesick, almost, and I want to go home where I know I'm safe. But I feel upset knowing that you'll be stuck here, with these–forgive me–shitty living conditions, while I'll be living the rich life again. And then I sort of like this adventurous feeling... Living life on the edge, not knowing what's next... But it terrifies me at the same time, and I don't know what side to go with."

"And I know the longer I stay here, the longer my friends' lives are on the line, and I don't want them to suffer anymore when they've done nothing wrong! It's my fault they're struggling, I can't just let them stay there forever, we need to do something about it. But if we get them out... then I go home. And is this adventurous life better than what I had to live with before?"

I went on and on, talking about what terrified me, what made being here worth it, everything.

"And all those people I bullied back at home... It's like our situation, but in a smaller scale. I had all the power, took everything from them, made them miserable to the point when they wouldn't even want to come to school. I didn't even give them any chance to fight back, and they didn't even try."

"I realized that's exactly what BTS is doing to us. They're taking every little bit of power we had, and using it against us. They're trying to make us feel like we can't fight back, and even if we did, we wouldn't win. And I feel awful that I made people feel that way, now that I'm experiencing it myself. How could I not realize what I was doing? I thought it was fun, watching them suffer and be upset! How could someone do that to someone else?"

I hesitated to continue. "And–And then you."

Jungkook's eyes widened, as if he was asking if I really meant him. I continued.

"You've risked a lot for me, just to get my friends back. You could have just left my friends and I there, and had BTS take all three of us. But no, you had to take me and lie to them, just so I was safe. And you could've just brought me home, but no. You let me stay, because I asked you to. And I was a total bitch the entire time. You complained, and got upset with me... A lot... But you never kicked me out."

"You let me stay in your house, let me eat your food, even though you're clearly having a hard time keeping up with the costs of all of it. You're such a good person, why do I have everything and you have nothing?"

Jungkook was speechless, his mouth falling agape.

"You've changed me and my mindset so much, in only a few days, and I'm a much better person now... I know I still have a long way to go, but I don't want to go back to whoever I was before. And I'm scared that I will if I go back home too soon."

"Jungkook, I don't want to lose you." My voice cracked on the word lose, and bit my lip as I looked to the ground. Did I really just say all of that? It was true... But now what would he think of me?

As I looked back up to face him, Jungkook was staring straight at me. Our eyes locked for a few seconds, and I couldn't read his expression. His mouth was slightly opened, his eyes looking curious. Was he shocked? Taking in all of the info I just spewed out?

Before I had a chance to ask, Jungkook's hand carressed my face and pulled me close to him, giving him the chance to lock lips.

I froze. He was kissing me? Usually when I kissed guys, I never really cared about it. This time, I felt tingles going through my body, and my face turned bright red.

I finally realized what I was supposed to do, and my hand started to move towards his back in an attempt to pull him closer to me. But before I could do anything, he backed away and stood up. 

All I could do was stare. Jungkook's once blank expression had turned to an excited grin. My mouth dropped wide open, and he left the room. 

I groaned, unsure of what was even going on. He probably stopped because my breath was awful or something... But then was he so happy afterwards? And why was I... enjoying that?

This was wrong, I've only know him for, what, a week and a half?

But why did it feel so right?

Jungkook, what the fuck was that?