The Lies We Told On Thursday Nights

2. Tuesday: Aisle 8 (Emery)

Hi guys! This chapter mentions and talks heavily about eating disorders.

This chapter deals with eating disorders and distorted body image. I am in NO WAY saying that eating disorders are good things because believe me, they are not, They are deadly and take over your life (speak from experience.) They are terrible, harming disorders we face today! Weight does not define us!

If you are uncomfortable with anything in this chapter or feel something can be worded better, don't hesitate to let me know.

Emery

Tuesday 4:20 p.m

I heaved a sigh as the air conditioning hit me. The library's door closed with a bang, sealing the chaos outside.

Adjusting to the indoor lights, I scanned the nearly vacant library. The library was spotless. The tables sparked due to bored compulsive cleaning. The books were ordered and displayed like professionally photographed meals.

The library was quiet and distant, just as the government requested. It was about four years ago when this library tumbled toward homogeneity.

The family's colorful library faded into a cold skeleton.Yet it remained my escape."Emery, dear," an old woman's gentle voice surprised me.It was Mrs.Higgins, the head of the library. "It's such a pleasure to see you."

I loved to hear her familiar voice. Smiling, I approached the main desk. She was too short to see over the wood slab, her customized chair broken so I could only see her puffy grey hair.

"Hi Mrs.Higgins," I waved, preparing to pass the lonely old lady to the refuge of words, but, as usual, let my iconic politeness take over. "You look stunning today. Much younger. Your new creme must be working!"My voice was obnoxiously high and positive, but it was the only voice to hide what was really going on.

Mrs.Higgins stroked her curly hair and gave me a flirty look."Oh, do I?" she chuckled to herself, obviously pleased with the comment.

I nodded assuring. "Thanks, dear." she blushed.

I headed past the desk into the abyss of books, carefully walking as I knew her eyes were watching me. Seeing me up and down-sizing me.

As I walked through the open atrium of tables and skimmed around to make sure no one was there. But of course, no one was there, and if they did, they wouldn't pay attention.

Ducking into aisle 8, the cooking aisle, my heart skipped a beat. My hand glided over the weight loss books.The words rattled in my head, creating a storm of passion.

Lose weight, pounds, healthy, be skinny, eat smaller portions, exercise, cardio, flat stomach.The words in the book came alive as they shaped the image I hope for.
(I removed a paragraph here as many readers were adding comments that, while relatable, broke my heart)

My phone began to ring, instinctively I jumped, shoving the book back onto the shelf. I was forbidden from looking at weight loss books, or skipping meals, ever since the doctors report...my mom began taking things very seriously. And by seriously, I mean treating me like a kid and shoving food at me.

The library was my safe space.Relieved to see no one, I picked up the phone."Emery, come home, honey, dinner is ready" my mom's voice was sweet, patient. But a bit tentative. She knew now I would come up with some pathetic excuse as to why I won't come home to eat dinner.But, like the past 100 excuses, it was fruitless.

Trying to hide the anguish from my voice, I responded: "Okay, see you in ten."

I swear I could hear my mom sigh with relief.

"Okay, be safe on the bus, alright?"

"Of course, Mom."
"love you."

"Love you too."I hung up, checking the clock on my phone.time was essentially in my life—a structure. Time to eat, time to exceed use, time to weigh myself.

The glass door leading directly to the bus stop was propped open, awaiting my exit.The bus will be here in one minute; I could easily catch it.

But I could just as easily miss it. I could quickly just run home.Help me burn a bit.I grabbed a hair tie from my bag and pulled my hair up.I moved swiftly past the bus exit, and dashed from the building, down the road, up the hill, and eventually to my house.

Hey guys! Please vote, comment, and share!