The Lies We Told On Thursday Nights

13. Wednesday: I Slept with Her (Levi)

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Levi

Wednesday: 6:18

"What. The. " Blake' vindictive voice appeared out of nowhere. Practice had finished a few minutes ago, and I was waiting, civilly to be picked up.

But suddenly Blake had his hands around my neck.

My first thought was not why? But the single word: "finally."

Despite being clueless and insulted by the aggressivity I didn't fight back.

Part of me wanted to, I wanted to know why I was going to die. And why he had the right to do something I really wanted to do.

But that didn't matter, because his grip wasn't tight enough and believe me, I know the pressure it takes to stop someone from breathing, I googled it.

When I remained idle, Blake removed his hand but took an invading step towards me.

I felt his hate...his brutal hate. His often light-hearted, occasionally annoying aurora was shattering with extreme aggression. While we don't know each other well, he remained one of the small handful of people who've yet to detest my very being.

His anger that took hold of my brain, I was a failure once again. And I didn't have to ask why, because I knew I was and always will be a failure.

"How dare you!" he howled, his spit (and I'm not exaggerating) hit my face full force.

I couldn't help but cower back, trying to avoid his rusty knife colored eyes.

I glanced around to spot his girlfriend, Dina wearing a concerned, guilty look. Dina is definitely the typical popular girl who spreads the rumors treats people like shit, but there is something I've noticed about her. She does have a moral compass, but hardly ever follows it.

I could tell now she regretted whatever she told him. And I guessed what it was.

But I played dumb because I practically knew nothing about whatever I was being accused of. "I don't know what you-"

"You kissed her and flirted with her. My fucking girlfriend. You piece of shit to betray a friend."

Betray a friend. I was slightly flattered that he called me a friend. But any sense of hope was absent.

"I-I didn't. Dude" I exclaimed, waving my arms in defense.

He didn't believe me, his cheeks grew fiery red...he clenched his fists.

"Then what were you doing Thursday night?"

Thursday night. What was I doing Thursday night? Well, I would rather admit I cheated with Dina than I attended a group for effed up teens.

My head was spinning as I tried to piece a plausible explanation. One that didn't expose me as a failure nor expose me as the suicidal failure.

My mouth dried up as I crooked: "I was..uh...visiting someone."

I cursed internally, cutting the skin of my lower lip: because "visiting someone" was teen code for "screwing someone."

"Visiting my girlfriend," his hot breath burnt the tip of my nose as he grasped a handful of my sweaty shirt. He yanked me hard, causing me to stumble a few steps forward. "You son of a bitch."

His knuckles turned white as his tight of my shirt tightened and the palm of his other hand pressed against my rib cage.

My chest throbbed, and I wasn't sure if it was his ruthless pressure or my oh-too-common anxiety.

My eyes slowly moved over his shoulder to Dina who stood, shamefaced.

Her fingers were tapping restlessly on the back of the book she was holding.

She craned her head, trying to avert my glare.

"Talk to me you little fu-"

"Wait, stop" Dina squealed. She rushed towards us, flinging her arm around Blake's arm, pulling him back.

He looked at her, slightly confused.

"I-I was making it up" she whispered, but loud enough to hear the crack in her voice.

Blake shifted weight briefly, staring tentatively at his girlfriend.

"So, Levi didn't-" he couldn't find the will to repeat.

"No," she flushed embarrassment. Giving a sideways apologetic look, she continued, "I was just trying to see, well, if you truly loved me and-"

Her words were sincere and heartfelt, the emotional guilt evident. I almost wanted to smile, she was so earnest.

But I just stood there, indifferent, watching her try to please him.

"Love you?" he scoffed slightly, but then smiled. "Of course I..." he inhaled deeply. " love you."

I shivered hearing the word love, I rarely hear it. Not from my family, or a friend. It was odd to hear it from Blake.

He hesitated for a moment, it was the type of hesitation that makes you unsure whether it is true or not.

But nonetheless, Dina melted into her boyfriend, throwing her arms around him. She kissed him on the lips.

Dina is typically more distant than this, but now she wasn't. And that confused me. How could she, someone popular, express some emotion.

Maybe there was no one around except me, and at this moment I think I was completely invisible.

Dina's eyes shifted towards me, and clearing her throat, she took a bashful step backward.

Blake cleared his throat and hesitantly looked up at me.

I wasn't sure what he was going to say. Apologize? Tell me to leave? Give me a brief nod?

He exhaled deeply, his vision narrowing on the redness on my neck.

"Sorry dude, I was just mad, and, well, you get it," he muttered, dismissively.

I nodded, even though I knew nothing about love nor the passion that comes with a relationship.

I only knew the passionate hatred I felt for myself.

"It's fine, don't worry" I shrugged, attempting my well-rehearsed smile.

"Cool," he responded absentmindedly.

Just nodding, I shuffled backward. Cautiously turning around.

I was curious why Dina was jealous? Or why me? Or why he believed her more than me?

Would it change our relationship? I doubt it though, it was teenage fury that will eventually not matter.

So if I do ever leave, it wouldn't matter.

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